Embers: The Light in Your Shadow

Twelve

I was so cold. The pain subsided hours ago. As a matter of fact, I felt numb and that scared me. The last time I checked the waters there were 2 sharks circling the raft. The sky got dark fast, and the raindrops beat down upon the canopy. I shivered uncontrollably, but I couldn't find it within me to move.

My eyes widened at the memory of the phone Armando threw in. I felt for it- too afraid that if I moved my body slightly the raft could flip over. The waters were really rough and uncomfortable, swaying me each and every which way. Once my hand made contact with the phone, I dragged it towards me.

Opening the phone, I was surprised to see it powered on. I went through the phone and quickly came to the conclusion that it belonged to Sophia. Armando was foolish to have kept it this entire time. The reception was blocked due to the storm, but I doubt the number was still active anyway.

I lifted my head as I remembered the raft came with emergency supplies. The equipment container lay at the base of my feet. I was still aware of the knife in my stomach. Any sudden moves could tear my insides up. Bottom line is I was scared, but I was more scared of dying if I didn't get to that first aid kit.

Moving proved to be super difficult so, I prayed for the Lord's strength to do what needed to be done. I refused to die out here. I turned on my side and crawled my way to the supplies. I opened the equipment container to find: a signal flag, 2-cell flashlight w/batteries, 3 signal flares, a first aid kit, a raft repair kit, sea dye marker, 1 signal mirror, food rations, water rations and a signal whistle.

There was a survival manual, but it was in Italian. Whatever. I tossed it to the other side of me and began unraveling the first aid kit. This knife needed to come out of me now. "Ok, on the count of 3, slowly take it out. It's gonna hurt like nothing you've ever felt before, but you can do it." I coached myself.

When it came time to do it, I chickened out. I coached myself 10 more times before I actually got the courage to pull it out. I screamed out like someone was murdering me. It brought all the pain back to my body in an instant. I bandaged myself up and laid back down.

I was so tired. I exhausted all my energy taking the knife out and fixing myself up the best I could. I was no doctor. The closest thing I knew of saving a life was how to do CPR. I have no medical background, and I was wary of all emergency personnel.

Closing my eyes came easy then. The storm was the least of my worries now. I just prayed I wouldn't bleed to death, or the sharks wouldn't get bold and try to rip my life raft to shreds trying to get to me. Even though I was constantly surrounded by death, I had a strong desire to live. So, I determined that I would fight until I couldn't fight anymore.

I had to...

Cesare's POV:

Lorenzo was on the phone with Giulia. He told her to send everyone at the company home early and inform their parents what happened. Even as the rain beat down on my body, I refused to move from my spot on the beach.

I'd already abandoned Savannah once. I wouldn't make that mistake again...

"Perché l'hai fatto? (Why did you do it?)" I turned to find Lorenzo staring at me trying to figure me out.

"Fare? (Do what?)" There were many shameful things I had done; he would have to be more specific.

"Perché Isabella era nel tuo ufficio? Perché ti hai lasciato baciare? (Why was Isabella in your office? Why did you let her kiss you?)" Lorenzo asked in disbelief. I closed my eyes trying to block out seeing Savannah's heart break before my very sights. "La ami ancora? (Do you still love her?)"

Isabella had snuck into my office and took me by surprise. She kissed me, and for a moment all my eyes saw were Savannah, until Savannah stood at the door of my office heartbroken. "Il mio cuore non appartiene più a Isabella. (My heart no longer belongs to Isabella.)" I admitted out loud for once. I finally gave a voice to my heart. "Sono innamorato di Savannah... (I'm in love with Savannah...)"

"Sei sicuro di averlo mostrato, Cesare... (You sure have a funny way of showing it, Cesare...)" After that he took his seat on the sand and grew silent, probably trying to feel for Savannah's emotions.

I looked out into the vast ocean and felt only pain in my right side. "Riesci a sentirla là fuori? (Can you feel her out there?)"

He nodded his head regrettably giving voice to his own fears. "Ha paura e dolore. (She's scared and in pain.)" I pointed to my side, and my brother's eyes widened. "Puoi sentire anche lei? (You can feel her too?)" I couldn't talk; I only gave a slight nod.

So many emotions were clouding my mind and suffocating my heart. Guilt, shame, anger, fear, anxiety... I could lose control at any moment, but I didn't want that. I needed to be sane for Savannah. I needed to be strong for her. So, I did the one thing I swore I would never do again.

I prayed.

I asked for forgiveness for my sins, and I asked God to save Savannah. "You know I've lost faith in you, but because she believes you, I know that you're the only one who can save her. Please save her!"

In the moment I felt an overwhelming peace wash over me. It must've covered Lorenzo as well, because his eyes widened in shock. "Whoa!"

"Andiamo, torniamo a casa, non ha senso che ci ammaliamo, Dio si prenderà cura di Savannah. (Come on. Let's head back home. There's no sense in us getting ourselves sick. God will take care of Savannah.)" I pulled my brother up from the sand and walked to the car. Everyone else had left hours ago. There wasn't anything anyone could do against a storm.

I just prayed that she would hold on. "Don't stop fighting, Savannah." I told my spirit, hoping it would relay the message to her somehow.

**

The storm stopped 2 days later, and I went to the pier with the search and rescue team. They searched all day and into the night, but there was no sign of Savannah anywhere. With little faith I had left had started to wane. "Don't give up, Cesare." A voice spoke inside of me. I jumped in fright and turned around to see no one.

10 minutes later the helicopter and boats returned to land for the night. "Continueremo la ricerca domani. (We'll continue the search again tomorrow.)" A rescue member said, patting me on the shoulder as his teammates all gathered up their things.

I came back the next day and every day after, even after the search for Savannah was called off. My faith only grew as the days passed by in solace. I had gone back to church and started working on my relationship with God again. I was no good to anyone in the condition my heart was in.

My past couldn't be changed, but I had power to make a better future by working on my present. I let my hurt shape my actions, but I refused to do that any longer. It was time that I matured and thawed out my cold heart.