Afterwards || Dean Winchester [3]

Chapter 5

I stood speechless and stunned by this sudden revelation. Forty years? I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he must've been going through.

"Forty years?"

He just shook his head quickly. "You know what, forget it. It's fine."

"Dean. What happened in Hell?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he just bowed his head in what looked like shame.

"Dean. What happened?"

He finally looked up and that was when I noticed the water pooling in his eyes. "They uh...they sliced and carved and tore at me...until there was...there was nothing left. And suddenly, I'd be whole again. Like magic. Just so they could start all over again..."

I was at a loss for words. What he'd just told me was horrible. "Dean...that must've been awful for you."

"Yeah well that's not even the worst part. At the end of every day, I'd get an offer. They'd take me off the rack if I started torturing other souls. For thirty years...I refused. But then I couldn't do it anymore. So I got off that rack..."
He paused for a moment before continuing. "I started ripping them apart. The things that I did to them-"

"Dean, it's okay. You let them torture you for thirty years. I completely understand why you took that offer."

"...I wish I couldn't feel anything, Zara. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

My heart broke for him. He was in a great deal of pain and I had no idea how to comfort him. I wanted so desperately to be there for him but I just didn't know how. How do you help someone who is in this much pain? I watched silently as tears escaped his eyes. "I'm so sorry Dean."
This was all I could manage to whisper. And it was the truth. I was sorry. When he came back, I hadn't even thought to ask what happened to him in Hell. It was just heartbreaking to see him like this.

***

A couple of hours had passed and we were back at the motel. Sam must've gone out because the room was empty when we arrived.

"Wanna crack open a bottle of whiskey?" I smiled.

Dean gave me a small smile. "You actually have a bottle of whiskey?"

I nodded, grinning widely. "I'll take that as a yes." I chuckled, pulling the bottle out of the cupboard and sitting down on the bed next to Dean. When I sat down, he looked at me, smirking.

"What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

It took me a while to actually realise what I'd forgotten. "Shit! I forgot the glasses."

He just laughed, taking the bottle from my cold hands. "It's okay. We can just take turns drinking from the bottle."

I sighed. "Fine. But don't hog the bottle from me."

He just let out another quiet laugh. "And I thought I was the only one obsessed with whiskey."

"Yeah well things change," I smiled, snatching the bottle back and taking a sip. The warm liquid tingled inside my mouth. And I felt a slight burning sensation as it rolled down my throat. Once I was finished, I handed it back to Dean, who seemed to be watching me intently. I just tried to ignore it. I didn't want to complicate things. I just wanted this to stay as two friends having a drink together.

"This is nice," I confessed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I wish things could be different ya know? Maybe if we could've saved you...we'd still be together."
I know I said I didn't want to complicate things but I just couldn't help it. He had to know how I felt about all this.

"It doesn't have to be different."

"Dean. We talked about this."

"I know. I know. I just wish you'd have felt differently."

I just gave him a small nod. "Yeah."

"I'll never stop fighting for you though. I love you and that'll never change. Even if you don't feel the same way anymore."

"Dean...I-"

We were interrupted by a loud high pitched screeching. Dean clutched his head tightly as the painful noise continued.

"What's going on?!" I yelled as I threw my hands over my ears.

Dean shook his head as he fell to the floor. "I dunno!"

As the screeching continued, the mirrors in the room began to shatter, causing the shiny glass to scatter across the carpet. As I crouched down on the floor in pain, I noticed blood beginning to run down Dean's face. If this didn't stop soon, it would cause some serious damage. Luckily, after a few more minutes, the room fell silent and I could finally hear myself think again.

"What the hell was that?!" Dean yelled angrily.

I shook my head. "A demon? Maybe?"

"No. A demon couldn't have done this."

"Then what was it?"