in which Jeongguk has to work with a fellow dancer who's guts he just happens to hate.
"I just don't like your damn attitude, Taehyung." he tried to stay unbothered, not making eye contact as the older one pinned him to the ground. "You do, Jeon? Yo...
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【playing..】
BTS (방탄소년단) - WINGS Lost
❚❚►_____________________________ 4:01
Jeongguk was nervous, feeling like the humidity in the car was slinging itself around his neck and pulling it's rope close as a trace of still pinkish colored sweat made it's pool down his nape as today, he would be having his very first therapy session.
Therapy had been something he has thought about numerous times, about seeking it, about needing it eventually, about wanting the proper treatments for his past mental scars but never going through with actually going.
It was something he was scared off. Opening himself to others and letting them see that he was vunerable, a broken glass soul who had been scattered so many times that he can't count.
He didn't want to be seen as weak, not being able to deal with his thunders and lightning bolts clouding his head by himself. Not being strong enough to soak it all up and eventually move on, never think about his past ever again.
He had tried. He really did but when panic attacks started to hit more intensely than before with such simple things as a single word passing through someone's lips making him cry, crash to the floor and hide out in the security of his apartment for days on end.
Pretty much ever since Taehyung came into his life as a support system, as someone who likes him for him, he had been more confident with himself and showing his weak spots, even showing his vulnerability to him -- eventhough more or less involuntarily with just one wrong word dropped.
Breaking down into a panic attack right infront of the older as he mentioned the word 'boyfriend', feeling numb and incapable of controlling of his own body. Any words weak and meaningless floating around in his head during that time frame of numbness and teary vision.
But when Taehyung told him that it was okay to need help, that he would be there for him every second if he needed to -- it really started to flip a switch in his mind and meeting Namjoon again gave it the final push to switch completely into knowing he needed help and that going on without would only impact his life in ways he didn't even know yet.
The idea was still floating around in his mind the days after meeting his ex again, somehow losing himself in doing research for the best psychologist in his area but never daring to actually give them a call.
But right after coloring his hair that magenta cherry tone, that final boost of confidence hit his veins, calling right the day after and making an appointment as soon as they had the time -- all by himself.
But nevertheless as they day of the appointment crept closer, he felt more nervous, almost feeling all confidence slowly draining out of him.
What if all he ever experienced wasn't as serious as it felt to be? What if it was all a thing made up in his head, something he had constructed?
