Chapter 23- With a Heavy Heart

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My chest felt heavier the closer I got to Cassie's. It felt like it was about to fall out of my chest by the time I reached her front door. I had sent her a text when I was walking up, and she met me, opening the door as soon as I got there. 

She took one look at me and already knew something was wrong. She pulled me inside and down the hall. I could hear her parents yelling out from the livingroom. "Is that you Allison?"

"Yeah, it's her mom!" Cassie called out. "We're going to my room, we'll keep it down."

She pulled me into her room and shut the door, locking it to make sure no one would walk in. 

"What's wrong?" She asked. 

I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I wasn't sure what the worst part of this was. I was angry that Alpha Trenton was using my friend and her family against me, I was sad that it looked like I would never get to see if Alarik was in fact changing. I wasn't sad that I was going to have to reject him, I mean at this point in the game, he hadn't done anything to really impress me other than tell me the truth, but I wouldn't get the chance to see if he was turning into a better person. 

There was going to be a whole unknown out there. What would have happened if we had the chance, would I really have been able to see Alarik for who he was instead of what he had done? Would he turn into a better person, a better man, and eventually a better Alpha?

"I have to reject Alarik." I whispered. 

"What are you talking about? That's crazy!" Cassie screamed at me. 

"You don't understand, I have to. I don't have a choice here."

"You always have a choice, Allison."

"Alpha Trenton is making me do it."

"His father?" Cassie asked confused. "Why would his own father want you to reject his son?"

"For power. He wants Alarik to marry the daughter of Alpha O'Brian. If they get married then the packs will join together. Shared power, shared territory, that's what he's after. Alarik told him he wouldn't do it, because he'd found his mate. Alpha Trenton decided he wanted to intersect it and cut things off."

"You don't have to listen to him Al." Cassie said, her hand reaching out to mine. 

I pulled back from the contact. I couldn't let her comfort me, she didn't understand the whole situation, she wouldn't even want to comfort me after she heard it. Might as well pull back myself before she pulled away from me. 

"If I don't he's going to turn you out," I whispered. 

"What?"

"Unless I do what Alpha Trenton says, he's going to throw you and your family out of the pack. I can't let him do that. I don't even know where this whole thing with Alarik was even going to go." I said. 

"Exactly, you don't know. It could have gone downhill, which I highly doubt, but it also could go to amazing heights!"

"But that's not worth the happiness and lives of one of my only friends and her family. Cassie, I'm not going to sacrifice all of you for this. It's not worth it. How could you even think I should go out there?"

"Because I'm your friend and you deserve happiness too."

"What about your family?"

"My family loves you too. They've practically taken you in as one of their own, they'd want you to be happy."

I just shook my head. How in the world could she possibly be saying these things. She knew what it meant to be a rogue, her whole family did, but they didn't know what it meant to be a marked rogue. They had been rogues by choice before, this time no one would take them in as Alpha Trenton had before. He would send them out on their own and make sure no one around would ever look at them. 

"You're not giving up your mate, that's final." Cassie crossed her arms and looked at me with determination. I knew there was no sense in arguing with her, she wasn't going to change her stance on the issue, and I was sure she knew just as well that I wasn't going to change mine. Once either of us had made our minds up, it was nearly impossible to persuade us to do anything else. 

"I didn't come here to ask you Cassie. I came here, well I came here first off because this was where I was headed until that asshole picked me up. But I came here to tell you what I was doing, to let you know that I wasn't going to let Trenton do anything to any of you."

I saw Cassie's jaw clench in frustration, could she really be frustrated that I wanted to keep her and her family safe? Yes, yes she could. I could understand that, but it didn't change the fact that I was going to go through with this. 

I unlocked the door and left, making sure to say bye to her parents before leaving. I sent a text to Alarik asking him to meet me at the park near the edge of our territoy. It was nice and quiet, and hardly ever got used. 

He said he would be there within fifteen minutes, that was nearly as long as it was going to take me to get there. 

I spent the walk lost in thought. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to Alarik, I knew I was going to have to tell him something. I couldn't just say that I was going to reject him and not give him a reason why. He would probably just think it was me going back on what I said yet again. I'd already done it to him twice. 

Would it be better to let him think that? To let him think that I was just stepping back yet again, that everything that he had done since I found out who he was to me, and even before that was just too much, that I couldn't be his mate. Or would it be better to tell him the truth? That I really had wanted to give this a shot, to give us a shot, even after everything that had happened, but his father had other plans. That he was supposed to go off with O'Brian's daughter and unite the packs, and I was just going to step back and let that happen. 

That I had no choice but to step back and let it happen. I wasn't going to let anyone else take the fall for me. 

I could see the park off in the distance, and I could see him standing there waiting for me. I wanted to take off, I wanted to run away to do anything but face him. I didn't know how to do this. 

It's what you have to do though Allison, I told myself. Just do whatever you need to, to get through this. 

I swallowed back my fear and my nerves as I got even closer, I could see him, see his face and he was smiling as he looked at me. 

I bit everything down, all my raging emotions, letting only one come through, my anger. I summoned my anger at the Alpha, my earlier anger at Alarik, hell, the anger that I still had for him and what he had done. 

If I was going to get through this without giving into all my other emotions, without giving into the bond, that was what I was going to have to hold on to. I couldn't let myself feel anything else but my anger and hatred. 

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So Allison has made up her mind then... She is going to keep the best interest of her friend in mind. What do you think will happen next? How do you think this whole thing with Alarik will go? What are you hoping will happen?

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