At the end of the summer, Jake got a girlfriend; it was also when I moved to New York for college. Needless to say, I thought everything was over.
It was a great summer, the whole friends with benefits thing was working really well and it might be crazy, but I think our friendship grew stronger. My feelings for him certainly did.
When I found out I'd be moving to New York, being away from Jake was the first thing that came to mind. The idea of not having him around, of not being able to touch him, to feel him, felt like a punch in the stomach. But after another girl came into the picture, being away started to feel appealing.
I really don't know how I managed not to cry when he told me he was dating. Well, not to cry in front of him, I mean, because as soon as he left I drowned in my own tears.
We had a long talk about how things were going to be from that day on. We would remain best friends, that was something nothing could ever change, but the sex would be cut off. We would simply go back to what it was before prom, the only difference being the distance.
We ended up dealing surprisingly well with the whole thing. We talked almost everyday, through text, phone calls and FaceTime. He continued to tell me what was going on in his life, how he was feeling and how was his family. He made me feel home even from afar.
Being away was a good thing after all. I knew it would be hard keeping our hands off each other if we were close, and I was obviously right about that part. I went to Frankenmuth to spend the holidays with my family. Right on my first day back, I paid a visit to the Kiszkas. When Jake saw me, he ran for a hug. His arms held me tight, my face found his neck. I breathed him in. He was a drug and I was addicted to Jake Kiszka. I could try to quit, but I was doomed to fail.
He brought me to his room later that day to show me a new song he was working on. He never touched the guitar. The moment his hand left the door knob, I attacked his lips. He kissed me back for a few seconds before pulling away.
"Y/N, I can't. I'm with Mary now."
"Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop."
His eyes scanned every inch of my body before stopping on mine. They fell to my lips and then flew back up. The bedroom watched us in complete silence.
"Why is it so fucking hard?" He whispered to himself before grabbing me by the hips and connecting our lips again.
The bed screamed when Jake threw me onto it, but it was ignored by both of us. The only sound we cared about was those coming from our own mouths. There were no foreplays, we didn't have time for that. He was desperate, I was about to cry out of need.
I took control of the situation, I missed having him under me. As I sank down his length, I felt complete in every sense of the word. Nothing in the whole universe compares the slightest with the feeling of having Jake with me. I was so afraid of losing him that I got blind, I did everything wrong.
"I'm sorry for disrespecting your relationship." I said softly. I was holding him tight, afraid he would disappear if I let him go. My face was glued to his neck, his hand gently playing with my hair.
"Don't be. I'm breaking up with her."
"Don't do that, not because of me." He disconnected our bodies, I felt weak.
"Why not?"
"Because in a couple of weeks I'll be back to New York and you'll be alone. Things are working so well, Jake, why change it?" He took a deep breath and held me again.
"You're right." We both knew I wasn't. "How's it gonna be now? We keep the benefits no matter what?"
"Can you not keep them?"
