Flames & Firehoses (Arsonist X Firefighter)

Chapter 17

"I like what you've done with the place!" Josh commented with a smirk, as he glanced around; then, settled his face downward at the plate of orange chicken and rice in front of himself.

"Thanks!"

Unfortunately, some statements were prompts for a socially appropriate response, which had been beaten into me, and, for a split second, I couldn't help, but act like nothing was wrong! After the pair of firefighters were welcomed by my spread legs on the dining room table, Henry had nudged Josh out of the room and given me enough time to put on the clothes I'd left in the bathroom - the same yoga outfit that I'd been wearing for three, consecutive days now. The clothes smelled a little musky; but, not as much as I thought they might, after all the ravaging they'd been through!

"Shit! Sorry! I guess you need this for later!" Josh muttered with a chocked-back laugh, twisting the "Yours" tag on one of the candlesticks towards me and away from himself. "Tell me, again, what's so American about this meal..." he looked up at Henry with a gaze of innocent interest in the topic he was introducing. "When was Kung Pow President again?"

Although Josh's question was funny, I closed my eyes for a moment and pretended that he wasn't sitting directly across from me! Henry was to my left, at the center of his edge...right about where I'd been displaying myself, as the centerpiece, earlier. This seating arrangement had been the best one we could collectively come up with. I didn't exactly want Josh next to me (on the right or left!); but, I couldn't help wanting to see Henry's face directly, instead of from the side, each time my eyes rose from my plate!

"Mike and I ordered Chinese food for Christmas dinner every year, after Mom left!" Henry laughed, creating a booming sound that uneasily rocked me, while he rambled on about his comfort food.

I forced my eyelids to unglue themselves and concentrated my eyes on paying attention to the conversation.

"-the Christmas tree skirt into the dishwasher!" Henry slapped his knee and laughed at the finish of his own story, which I hadn't heard any bit of (despite being beside him, when he had told it).

"I'm sorry! Excuse me for a few minutes!" I stood up suddenly, without waiting for any approving words, and briskly walked to the bathroom.

The realization that I'd tuned out of my environment so much that I didn't remember anything (except the feeling of dread in my gut!) made me want to vomit! Although the bathroom I had chosen was close to the dining room, the door and walls around me helped to squelch my fear of the people who were under the same roof as I. Reminiscent of the sensation I'd felt as a baseline before I turned eighteen years old - Finally, old enough to live by myself, according to the state - I was paralyzed with shock!

To my added misery, I always had an internal clock that reminded me of every second that I was away from company! The need to keep up appearances was gnawing at me and causing me more panic, because I wasn't sure I could slap on a convincing smile, at this point! I splashed cold water on my face, until the red blotches from my tears vanished...for the most part. Then, in spite of my personal feelings, I calmly walked back into the dining room and sat down in my assigned place.