It's A...

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Hey Jace. Even though you haven't answered me in three weeks, I just wanted to let you know that I'm in the car on the way to my twenty-week scan. I'll tell you the genders after if they can see them.

I hit "send" and my phone showed me that the message reached Jace. He was reading them, but of course, not answering. I clicked my phone off and put it in my pocket. I couldn't let this break my heart right now. I had other plans.

"Oh look, we're here!" Poppy said from the backseat as she drummed on her thighs.

With Mom at work and Cler probably even more eager to find out the genders than I was, she was driving us to my appointment. We parked the car and went in. I checked myself in and we all sat down in Poppy's favorite spot, which was the one right next to the fishtank.

"Ah, I'm so excited! How do you feel?" Cler asked.

"Well, I guess I'm neutral, as always," I said, staring at the guppies in the fish tank.

"I'm sure you'll feel better once you realize that it's a boy and a girl," Poppy said.

"You're really dead set on that, aren't you?" I asked her. I suddenly felt a kick and rubbed the side of my belly. "And for the millionth time, it really doesn't matter to me."

"Fine, you grouch," she said before leaning over and lowering her voice. "Chase was asking about your appointment today. He also said he wants your number so you two could keep in touch."

"He actually texted you?" I asked. "I mean, I just didn't think he'd want to talk about anything."

"Oh no, he texts me in our aunt and uncle chat all the time!" she said, her smile wide and her cheeks totally blushing. "But uh, it's mostly about baby stuff. Like what he can buy and important dates, like your big appointments." 

"Okay, if you say so," I said.

I looked across from me and saw another couple, clearly a husband and wife. The woman was giving me judgmental looks. I rolled my eyes. I was so used to it by this point. There were so many forces getting in my way today. Nothing was going to run this. I wouldn't let it. 

"Chrysanthemum?" a voice said. I looked up and we walked across the room to the nurse. She gave me a big, bright smile. "Come on back!"

She led me into one of the rooms, had me change, and took all my vitals while making small talk.

"Any new symptoms you're experiencing?" she asked.

I shook my head. "My feet still hurt. Sometimes my back hurts here or there. No more nausea, which is nice."

"Perfect." She took note on her clipboard. "Are you feeling any strong movements yet?"

"Yup!" I said, cradling my bump. "It feels like they're kicking more and more every day."

We kept talking, and I noticed that my voice was shaking towards the middle of the examination. Everything hit me all at once. This was real.

I was finding out the gender of my babies. Today. I'd get closer to knowing who they were. I could buy clothes and pick out names. Poppy could finally, finally design their nursery.

"Alrightly, Chrysanthemum, everything looks good. Doctor Andrews will be by in a few minutes. I can tell that you're all a bit jumpy but sit tight. Once she's done with her exam we can get you in for your ultrasound, okay?" the nurse said before leaving.

"Perfect. Thanks," I said. 

I guess they could tell how nervous I was because the girls didn't say anything. They sat on their phones while I mindlessly scrolled through social media, not paying attention to anything.

After five agonizing minutes, there was a knock on the door. Dr. Andrews walked in.

"Hey Chrys! How have you been?" she asked.

"Uh...okay," I said.

"A little tense? That's okay! It's totally common. I'll get everything wrapped up quickly and then send you right down the hall!" she said. 

I positioned myself on the examination table. She did a few quick checks and some measurements of my bump, listened to their heartbeats quickly, and then we were good to go. We walked down the hallway and saw Brittany again, who helped me lay down for the ultrasound.

I lifted up my shirt and she put the cold gel on my belly. The whole room was silent. She played the double heartbeats first, then I saw my little ones on the screen. One was hidden behind the other.

I could actually see their little arms and legs moving around. They looked like fully-formed little babies. Only a few more months until I'd be able to hold them. How were things going by so fast?

I was tearing up. Poppy was taking a video of the sonogram with her phone. Cler was practically bouncing up and down in her seat, her eyes going back and forth between the sonogram and her phone.

"Very active! That's always good. They're moving all over the place! This is Baby A in the front, and Baby B is behind them," said Brittany. She moved the wand a little to the right. "Okay, it looks like I can see the gender of Baby A first. Do you want me to tell you?"

Poppy gasped, and Cler's head instantly went from her phone to the screen.

"Um, can you tell me both at the same time, please?" I asked.

I don't even know why I asked her that. For some reason I thought it would calm me down to hear both genders at the same time.

"That's no problem at all. It's whatever works for you. Can you do me a small favor? Just take a few deep breaths and try to relax, okay?" she asked. "It's a little tough for me to keep the wand steady with you shaking. Don't worry, sweetheart. You'll be fine, even if it's not what you're hoping for."

I tried to breathe. I'd never been this nervous in my whole life. I mean, it made sense, though. This was the biggest news I'd ever get about anything.

"Pst, Chrys!" Cler whispered.

She held out her hand. I was totally freaked out, so I took it. Poppy stood behind me and put her hands on my shoulder.

"Aww, look at that," Brittany said. "We're all here for you, honey. It's okay. Now, let's see who baby B is!" She moved the wand around while looking at the screen. "Come on little one...where are you—ah, there we go!"

"You've got it?" I asked.

"I do. I know both genders. Are you ready?" Brittany asked.

I looked behind me at Poppy and Cler. They were both urging me to say yes, but my mind was going, I'm not ready. I'm so totally not ready. But I nodded. I nodded anyway.

"Okay, I'm ready," I said.

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