On The Sidewalk Bleeding

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Kyle

            I don't think Payton expected her father to hug me. Hell, I didn't either, but my ribs felt like they were being crushed more than they already had been.

            Stop acting like a wimp. And there's the stupid voice in my head again.

            I do have to admit that I am slightly confused as to why Payton's parents hadn't came earlier, but I would just have to ask them about it later. Now wasn't the time, and I really didn't want to risk upsetting Payton. I figured that perhaps it might be a soft spot for her.

            Payton's mother eyes me carefully, before she decides to speak. "Do you mind if you leave us to talk with Payton for a couple minutes?"

            I don't want her parents to get angry or anything with me, so I just nod a leave, trying as hard as possible to not hesitate. I close the door behind me and slide down the wall across the hall from Payton's room. I just close my eyes and lean my head back, taking in slow breaths, trying to ease the oncoming headache that's forming behind my eyes.

            It's only when I feel a poke on my arm that I open my eyes again. There's the little girl with no hair that I saw earlier when I was in my car. Her big eyes stare at me for a moment, as if she's contemplating whether or not to talk to a stranger. I don't speak, just keep looking back at her, letting her decide what to do.

            She moves to take a seat on the cold floor beside me, and the floor is probably even colder for her, especially because she is in just a thin hospital gown.

            "I thought you were dead… that's what you looked like anyways." She says to me in a quiet voice. "I don't like death. It takes everyone I love, and I don't even know you and I thought it took you too. It made me sad." She looks at me with tears in her eyes. The pain in them was unbearable.

            "Don’t worry, I wasn't dead, now, do you want to tell me your name?" I ask her nicely.

            "My name's Elle,  but everyone calls me Ellie." She smiles at the thought of her nickname. "I'm 12. What's your name?"

            I can't help but be shocked that she's 12. I definitely thought she was closer to Emma's age. "Uh, my name's Kyle. I'm 16, but I'm going to turn 17 in just over a week."

            A nurse comes running around the corner, looking worried. She freezes when she sees Ellie sitting beside me and then her face hardens slightly.

            "Ellie Jae! Where have you been! We've been looking for you everywhere! You were supposed to start chemo 10 minutes ago. What do you have to say for yourself?" She rushes forward as Ellie speaks.

            "I found him lying here, I thought something happened to him. I just wanted to make sure he was ok… I was on my way to chemo, I didn't forget, don't worry. I'm sorry." She starts to get up and the nurse grasps her shoulders, helping her frail body up. "As she's leaving, she looks back at me and whispers. "Bye."

            I only have the time to wave back at her before she's whisked around the corner that the nurse came from. I close my eyes again and lean my head back against the wall, wondering when Payton and her parents are going to be finished.

            No sooner does the thought cross my mind and Payton's dad comes rushing out of the room and down the hall, his jerky movements frantic. That's all it takes for me to jolt up from my spot on the floor to her room, the worst imaginable thoughts coming to mind about what could have happened.

            I stand in the doorway for all of a second before rushing to the struggling body on the bed. Her hair covers most of her face, but the parts that I can see are all scrunched up and tight, almost as if she's living a really bad nightmare. I notice her mother against the wall, tears streaming down her shocked face. She opens her mouth to speak and then closes it, not a sound escaping her lips.

            I rush over to Payton, not really sure what's going on, but I envelope her in my arms, not sure if it will help, but hoping that it will nonetheless. I slowly, and very lightly touch my hand to her back and start rubbing. I move my other hand up to her head, slowly, but deliberately moving her towards me, to try to let her feel centered or something.

            Her body's stiff and shaking and I don't know what else to do so I just keep rubbing her back and holding her to me like I'm holding a fragile, baby kitten. I can do nothing but watch as she struggles against her own body for at least a single breath, and I pull her hair away from her face even though I know that it won't really help anything. I look up just in time to see her mother walking out of the room, probably to find a washroom to get herself cleaned up a bit.

            "I'm not leaving. You're okay. You're gonna be okay. I'm here, it's okay." I don't know what else to tell her… I'm not the greatest at dealing with girls who are having panic attacks, let alone dealing with the girl I've liked for a long time who happens to be having a panic attack. So, I just keep telling her the same words over and over again, hoping that it will pull her out of her… well I don't know what to call it really… her panic, I guess?

            "Just breathe in and breathe out. That's it. Keep doing that. You're okay." By now she's starting to calm down a bit more than I thought she would have just by my words. I suppose that's how I know that she's sort of, kind of listening to me. I close my eyes and listen to her breathing slow down, becoming much more natural than it was a mere few seconds ago.

            I open my eyes and watch her, seeing if she's alright. I still can't see her face very well but I can tell that she's out of the panic attack. She shifts slightly, turning her face into my shirt, and continues to slow down her breathing. As I'm about to speak, she starts talking, but I can't make out any of the words since they got muffled by my shirt. I found it pretty entertaining that the first thing she had done was basically shove her face into my chest, not even saying anything.

            "What?" I wanted to know what she had said, but she must have heard the humour in my voice because she paused for a second before shifting again to look up at me through her eyelashes. She moves her face closer to mine, and I suddenly find it extremely hard to keep my eyes off of her lips as she comes closer.

            Her breath tickles the side of my cheek as she moves her mouth up by my ear, and ever so quietly that I almost miss it, she whispers in my ear.

            "What type of cologne do you wear?" Before I can respond, her lips touch mine ever so slightly before she pulls away and looks at me expectantly. I can't help but stare at her as my body seems to lose control of its functions. It freezes and doesn't seem to want to move, no matter how hard I try. Thankfully, it's only a few seconds later that I realize that I'm able to talk once again.

            I have to clear my throat a couple of times before I can manage to get my words out. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have gotten the coherent sentence part of my brain back yet. "Uh, I um… I use… uh… Abercrombie, uh, and Fitch Fierce, I think…?" I  pause and then turn my head to look at her before smirking, coming up with the perfect comeback in mind. "Do you randomly go around smelling boys as a hobby, or are you just reserving that for me?"

            All it takes is for her to start blushing for me to burst out in laughter.

            And then that moment gets to be ruined by a nurse shooing me out of the room. Again.