Dandelion Corpse [A Naruto Fic]

Five

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I slide down the hallways of the academy as fast as I can, ungracefully flailing my arms around as I navigate down the halls.

"Sorry I'm late!" I shout when I burst through the classroom door.

My brows furrow like crazy as I take in the sight of an empty classroom.

Am I in the wrong class? No, Iruka Sensei's sitting at his desk staring at me...

"Iruka sensei... Where the heck is everybody?" I ask looking around the room.

He blinks then says slowly, "you're early... never thought I'd see the day!!"

My head snaps to the clock and I flinch away in horror then hiss in my head when I see the dreadful numbers; 6:34

"I don't think I've ever been up this early before!! How are you awake sensei?!" I yell laying down in a fake dead position on some desks, eventually falling asleep because it was actually quite comfy.

Iruka shakes his head and goes back to flipping through some papers.

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rawr! rawr!
Screechidy!! Screach!
Graaaar!! Grrunntrrrr!!!
Eeeeeech!!!!! Chechen!!!!!!!!

I open my eyes groggily and rub them.

"What the heck's.... goin' on?" I ask confused.

"Your sister and Sakura are fighting."

Wait... is that- Nah no way is he initiating conversation with me.

I turn to see who I'm talking with, and am surprised to find it is indeed Sasuke.

I sigh, "again? When will they ever stop with their stupid 'rivalry' thingy," I say mostly to myself, not expecting Sasuke to reply.

After a pause he asks in his monotone voice, "why is it that they fight anyways?"

I point at him and laugh, "this is hilarious Cactus-Baka! You seriously never knew they ended their friendship cuz they both like liked you?"

Flashback~~ (harp strums in cloud)

Me and Ino were walking along, when I notice Sakura sitting alone a little ways away.

"Hey, isn't that your friend over there?"

"Hm?" Ino looks up from the tin can we had been kicking around then says, "oh, yeah it is. I'm gunna go sit with her for a sec, you can head home without me. Something seems off about her lately."

I nod and start walking the other direction after the saying of our goodbyes, heh, except I snuck back over with the help of my stealthy spy ninjaness of awesome cloke! ...It's actually just called hiding catra or whatever, Kai and dad taught me it,  but if I were the one dat invented it, my name'd be cooler.

And so I listen in (totally not eavesdropping) on my 9 year old twin and her best friend.

"Well, what is it Sakura? Why do you look so upset?"

"Well... it's just... I heard that you like Sasuke too, is it true?"

My eyes widen from the tree they're peeking from as I watch Ino's face redden. Really? Angry duck guy?

Well, I guess we don't all have good taste... Wait, what is my taste? Nevermind that, what's that saying mean by "taste"... egh, probably started out years ago referring to kissing. When nobody used toothbrushes. Or toilet paper. I wonder when people invented the toilet? Hmm, wasn't the guy who made the first one named Crapper? I di-stink-ly remember that from somewheres...

"So, I guess that means we're rivals from now on," Sakura states then starts walking away.

Wait, what'd I miss!?

~harp stops being strummed and cloud fades away as flashback ends with a poof~~~

"Yeah, they were like, besties before hormones came along. But I gotta say, they overuse their comebacks waaay too much. They're practically nicknames now, heh, though I gotta admit, billboard brow is a good one"

"Hn"

After a second of stroking my luscious transformation of a mint green beard, I stand up and point towards Ino, "y'know what? I think I was the one who came up with that! Jeez, don't people know not to steal others comebacks? Gah, whatever," I say and wave my hand dismissively while Iruka tells everyone to find a seat, I sit down next to Naruto as opposed to laying atop a desk like before.

"Hey Sue-chan~" I look over at Naruto.

"Hm?"

"Can I have some ramen please?" He asks with puppy eyes and a sheepish face.

My eyes narrow. If I give him some now, he'll start expecting me to give him some whenever I'm around... but he looks so cute when he asks for ramen! Wait, did I just think of him as cute? Do I like... No, that can't be it.

"I gueeeesss..." I say doing the hand signs and pricking my thumb.

With a poof of smoke, four ramen packets appear stacked on my desk. I slide one to Naruto and one to Sasuke, then yell, "Ino! Heads up!" And toss one her way.

Sasuke turns to me and asks, "what's this for?"

"You, though personally I don't consider people as whats."

"Why. You mentioned you only give ramen to friends?" He questions with an unreadable face as usual.

"I was feeling generous, what's with the sass all of a sudden?"

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(A/N: I triple doggie dare you to vote ;)