𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑

q u a t r e

Nasir "Shottah"
📍Bronx

"How can two caseloads be missing Black?" I asked. I asked them to handle one thing. One thing, and these bitches couldn't even do that. The pounding in my head started up just intensifying the annoyance I already had. "Look all I know is y'all better find my damn guns." Everyone stood shaking their heads a tad nervous. Knocking over the table behind me, I exited out the hangar before heading back towards my office causing everyone to break from they little trance. "Get the fuck to work!" Slamming the door behind me, the sound of a drink seemed to be the only thing on my mind. Now I gotta deal with this bullshit on top of my drug deal in Atlanta again. If you would've told me this would've been my life thirteen years ago I would've looked at you crazy.

But shit changed once my "father" got out of prison. See me and him never had no real father son relationship but he decided he wanted to enlist his seed with all the street skills he would need growing up. That's when the training began. I didn't grow up having a normal childhood with him. Weekends instead of playing ball in the park, he had other ideas in mind.

"Son listen to me, I'm preparing you for life. No one is gonna take care of you besides yourself."

Twelve year old me stood nodding in confusion. What did he mean? I had mom right? And where would he be?

"Now grab the gun." he spoke out behind me

"Daddy, I don't wanna." I cried out in fear

"Nasir, you heard what I said. Grab it." he shouted out

The sound of nature seem getting louder and louder. I just wanted to go home to my mom. Why couldn't he understand I didn't want to do this. I picked up the gun in front me, hand shaking before he stood behind me straightening out my arm.

"Now look, you gotta shake that fear outta you boy. Quit that crying shit, and shoot like I taught you." now stepping back

Tears slipped down my face as I stood now eyeing the mannequin my father set up. I couldn't do. I just wanna to go home. My finger rest on the trigger causing my breathing to increase even more than before. The anxiety and fear I had rushing through my veins.

"Now Nasir." he shouted out

I closed my eyes before the sound of a gun rung out in my ears. I opened my eyes my finger still on the trigger as my dad now placed beside me, smoke leaving the barrel of his gun. He shook his head in disbelief before walking off leaving me where I stood. That day, my dad became harder on me than before. He couldn't have a weak son, he couldn't allow it.

After his training I was never the same. Constant paranoia, all trust throw out the window, not to mention work became every thing. That was until I had Renzo. I wasn't even planning to be anyone's dad, let alone at my age. The day he entered my world I knew I had to be better than Sr. I was always present. That little boy needed me. Chasing down the brown liquor that sat at the bottom of my glass, I headed out back towards my workers. "Listen up! Twenty Four hours from now I better have answers. Til then nobody leaves." I shouted out. I headed towards my car where Kai and a few other of my boys chilled shooting dice. "Y'all niggas head inside and help out. We heading out." I instructed as the game now being cut short, Makai snatching the fifty dollars outta they hands before jumping into my passenger seat.