Lessons to Learn

Love is patient, love is kind

I'm sure you've heard of that quote by now. The one, that took me a while to realise came from the Bible. Go me.

Love is.. everything. It is everything, but at the same time, it is nothing like you could ever imagine. It truly does require so much patience and forgiving. God, you will be doing a lot of forgiving.

But for all the good and bad love comes with, I hope you don't get sucked into ignoring or overlooking the bad. I hope you learn to distinguish the kind of love that is worth the sacrifice and the kind of love that seems so, but is really just pulling you down.

You can't have the good without the bad. And if you can't acknowledge the flaws of your SO or refuse to believe they have any, I need you to take a step back.

Being in love with the idea of someone is a very real thing. Being in love with the idea of being in love is also, a very real thing.

I am by no means, an expert in the topic of love. I don't think anyone is. It's far too complicated and different for everyone for there to ever really be an "expert". Right?

But I am in love, right this second.

I have been in love for a while and for all those who are wondering what it's like, it is the best and, at times, feels like the worst, thing to ever happen to you. Newsflash, it isn't. I'm just overly sensitive, emotional and well, everything.

But just so you know, it is thrilling. Challenging. Warm. Hilarious. Tiring. Understanding. Patient. Quiet. Crazy. It is home, in the form of a person. A person who feels like they were made to be loved by you and you by them, and if you aren't religious, maybe you will agree that for a brief second, you believed. Something as overwhelming as this couldn't have just come out of no where. No. It took time, and precision, to create a soul that intricate and seemingly so perfect for you.

God.

The irony of that one word paragraph by the way, crazy. I have barely skimmed the surface with that description.

But what I am trying to get at, is that you can feel all that and be oblivious to the fact that you are in love with the idea of love or.. OR, you have fooled yourself into ignoring their flaws. Choose your pick. Both are pretty extreme.

"How do you know you're not either of those things?" "I thought there wasn't an expert in love?" (The italics are not just on contractions. Thanks.)

Easy, but stupid answer to those: Because my own damn soul mate accused me of this. Okay, accused is pretty extreme, but he really believed that I was way in over my head falling for him.

I am.

But not in the way he thinks.

So it got me thinking. Am I? Am I really just in love with the idea of him? And the idea of love? I'm not. Because from Day 1, I addressed all of his flaws, whether it be in my head or out loud to him, I have been aware of them. Boy, does he have a lot. And this idea of love? I had one, of course. A very generic, fantasy-like idea that was shaped by my horribly cheesy imagination and TV shows. But it did not compare, at all, to what I was experiencing. Am, experiencing.

I realised that there was no way I could be in love with the "idea" of love. He topped it! He really did. He showed me all the bad, and all the good.

My idea of love had changed, and my perspective along with it. I am there for more than just the moments that make me happy, and I am most certainly not afraid to face the days where we are moody or angry or upset. Everything and everyone will have flaws. But the right person will make it worth while. And you will see that they would not be who they are without their flaws, and that those especially, are worth loving.

You accept the person they are, and who they are yet to become. You love them while they are finding themselves, and love them when they feel like they are losing themselves. Through all this change you see that you have had the wonderful privilege of loving pieces of them; slices of who they almost became and fragments of they are supposed to be.

Love, will ultimately seem ever-changing, but you will find that the one thing that will remain constant is faith. Faith in them, and in the word "us".

It is easy, to fool yourself that you feel all of this. It is a lot harder, to face the arguments you go through and the flaws they showcase. It is especially hard, learning to accept that a life without them, can be lived. If you can't accept that, maybe you need to go back to your own roots to realise that you stopped needing to depend on someone to live, the moment you were able to feed, bathe and figure out life for yourself. And yet, you understand that your life is noticeably better and warmer with them in it. Know your self-worth. They help you become a better person. They don't make you one.

If you don't know who you are without them or if you don't know who you are without love, then there it is.

There is your answer.

Love is patient, love is kind. But don't be fooled. Love can and will be all of that for you, yet you might be selling yourself short. There is, and will always be, more. When you don't take in every side of one thing, you are limiting yourself to loving only part of it.

We deserve to be loved beyond measure. We are more than any idea or concept. We are real, and human, and that's what you should love most. Do not be afraid to love something that will constantly undergo change, instead, take pride in your ability to do the one thing so many people are afraid of. Love. Even when people, and life, and everything, is subject to change.

A love that is not afraid, is a love that will last a lifetime.