Funny Stories

More Funny Stories

The teacher asks Jimmy:

Teacher: "Jimmy, why aren't you writing?"
Jimmy: "I don't has a pencil."
Teacher: "Jimmy, that's not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don't have a pencil; he doesn't have a pencil; we don't have a pencil."
Jimmy: "Who stole all the pencils then?"

A man carrying two huge suitcases to meet with a circus boss to apply for a job. The boss asked:

"What do you know?"

The man took out some big stones from one of the suitcases, threw the stones high in the air and used his head to catch the stones.

The boss nodded. Great. What is in the other suitcase?

"Painkiller!

How much does it cost to get married?

A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied: "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A funny story involving a cop and two ladies:

There was this car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A state trooper pulled it over.

"What did I do wrong, officer?" the driver asked.

"You were going 26 MPH on a major highway, there is a law against that. You must go at least 50 MPH."

"But when I got onto the highway, the sign said 26!"

"That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn't the speed limit!"

The driver leaned back into her car seat and the cop saw another woman sitting beside her, she looked as pale as a ghost.

"What happened to her?' the officer asked.

"I don't know, but she has been that way ever since we got off the interstate 160."

A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesn't know what to do to get the girl's attention.

One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed.

Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read.

After a little while, the girl asked: "You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down?"

Two young boys' conversation:

Johnny: "What makes the baby at your house cry so much, Tommy?"
Tommy: "If all your teeth were out, your hair off, and your legs so week you couldn't stand on them, I guess you'd feel like crying yourself."