𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

part lxix

yoongi sat on the ground without a care.

the tears have stopped a while back, realizing more than once that jungkook wasn't going to show up and that he wasn't going to any other day. something deep within him wondered if this was what he deserved.

he wasn't exactly the most generous person, nor the most open. maybe it was the universe's way of telling him he wasn't deserving of love.

he stared blankly into the distance, not even a single thought crossed his mind anymore. he just felt tired, drained of all his energy. the hope he had for ever seeing jungkook again suddenly seemed further than it already was, maybe it was just time to accept reality and finally move on.

jungkook was never coming back.

although he've accepted this, yoongi still couldn't seem to move from his spot, as if he were glued. he thought he had completely convinced himself that there was no chance, but there was still a little piece in his heart that believed jungkook would come and they'd be reunited again.

only he had been sitting here for a while and not even one person has walked passed.

yoongi still couldn't understand what was holding him back. if jungkook actually wanted something, he would've shown up like he wrote in his letter. he felt cheated, weak, stupid, why was he the only one still fighting for something that had no life. it was over.

he stood up from the ground and wiped away at his tear stained cheeks, not that it did anything at all, it was a dead giveaway that he'd been crying with his puffy eyes. still, he gathered all the courage that was left in him and started walking back.

his eyes were focused on his feet, making sure that they were moving one after the other. yoongi was only lightly buzzed, not completely drunk, but still had to take it easy otherwise he was scared that he'd fall.

eventually yoongi stopped by a nearby bench when his head started pounding, he stopped so he could take a breather and just think for a moment, but instead he broke into laughter.

endless streams of salty tears begin to spill out of his eyes as he kept laughing hysterically.

yoongi felt pathetic, waiting. he was always fucking waiting, hoping, and dreaming like a hopeless romantic that his life would return to what it used to be. it was ridiculous, when it was clear as day that jungkook didn't feel that way.

jungkook was moving on with his life while yoongi was stuck, just stuck like an idiot in the past. no matter how much he begged, pleaded, prayed, nothing would return to what it used to be.

the smile was still on his face, eyes crinkling up into the shape of crescent moons. the tears continue to flood, while he looked up at the starry night sky.

he just watched the sky, hearing voices from his past.

how clear the conversations were and how he felt when they were said. he could hear the voice of jungkook calling out to him so well, as if he was here with him right now. just saying his name.

yoongi wiped away the tear and started walking, only to halt when someone blocked his way. yoongi looked up, not expecting much, but a man stood there, a bag filled with lamb skewers, one in his hand.

"yoongi."