A Pocket Full of Posies (Book 1)

Chapter Twenty-Seven (Part 2)

We stay like that in silence for a few minutes until my phone starts ringing again. I intend on ignoring it, but that gets me a telling off from Annabel. As I reach into my pocket to answer though, the ringing stops, and something ruffles my hair, making it fall messily onto my face.

"What was that for?" I whine as I fix it, and Carmen plops herself onto the grass in front of me.

"For disappearing and making Ava panic that you've been murdered or demon-napped, or both. The demon-napping would come before the murdering, I'd assume," she replies as she picks a daisy from the ground and throws it at me. "And for ignoring my phone call. Rude."

"How'd you know I was here?"

"Dunno, think I'm just good at figuring out where your preferred place of moping will be wherever we go."

She grins at me, so I throw a chunk of grass at her. Carmen giggles, but her smile quickly fades.

"Listen, I'm sorry about how I've been over the past day or so" she begins, all hints of playfulness disappearing from her voice. "All this crap must be literally driving you crazy, and me acting weird around you can't exactly help. It's just--I'm getting used to it, and I'm really trying to work on it. I mean, two days ago my only concern was whether or not you fancied me, and now it's whether or not I'm going to be possessed by a literal demon and whether or not you fancy me."

I laugh genuinely for the first time since we set off on this bizarre road trip. "Being possessed by a demon is probably the better outcome of the two, honestly."

Carmen nods in agreement with a wicked smile, and despite the shadows under her eyes and undone hair suggesting she's struggling with all this, she's rapidly making me feel like everything isn't, indeed, going to shit. I must be zoning out because Carmen taps my leg. She leaves her hand there as I return to the present.

"You're exhausted, Felix. Mentally." The joking tone has disappeared from her voice again. She shifts a little awkwardly. "And I know you've convinced yourself that you can't possibly be traumatised by your past because you can't remember it, but--"

I go to argue, but Carmen hushes me.

"Look, I know nothing about this ghost stuff, but based on what I have learned and whatever intuition I have, I know there's no way for us to get through this if you keep shutting yourself off and pretending you're not fazed by any of it. You've had a shit time of it, Felix, a really shit time of it. You've grown up without any family, and now you're literally stuck inside your own head watching them die without having any clue why, or what it all means. I don't care what you say; that's horrific."

Carmen finally takes a breath, and it's followed by a stammer that drifts off into nothing. My heart is beating so crazily that I have to resist looking down at my chest to see if it's obvious, and I'm angry. I'm really goddamn angry, and for a moment I think I'm angry at Carmen, but I know that's just a ruse. I'm not angry at her, I'm angry at everything else.

I'm angry that even after all my visions I still can't remember the people who saved my life, I'm angry I've gotten everyone else involved in my bullshit, I'm angry I grew up without an opportunity to stay in one place for longer than a few years, I'm angry I spent Christmas Day alone, and I'm angry I'm cursed with this stupid ability.

"I know," I say, and try to laugh, but my brain doesn't compute, so I don't even smile.

"Felix! Oi, Felix!" a familiar voice yells from behind me.

Carmen rolls her eyes. "Here come the rest of the budget ghostbuster gang."

I snicker and turn my head to see Tom calling me, with Robert skipping beside him and Ava. Jamie and Clara follow a few steps behind. Ava's got her parasol again, which momentarily confuses me because I'd not noticed it with her at all today, but then I remember nothing about Ava makes sense, so don't delve any deeper into it. I'm soon internally questioning her again as she starts reaching down and picking flowers from the ground. Hardly seems like the time. Tom and Robert reach us first.