Dark Secrets (Sherlock x Reader)

It Gets Better

It was quiet on your way home. It was already dark out and the temperatures were quickly dropping.

You walked side by side, hands stuffed in your own pockets and no words spoken. The tension between you could be cut with a knife.

That was what it was like the first few sessions with the couples' counsellor.

When Sherlock had brought up he wanted to seek therapy for the both of you, you had adamantly refused. It had lead to a huge argument and you no longer being on speaking terms.

Nevertheless, you had gone with him when he notified you he had booked the first session via a note on the fridge.

That night, you had walked to the therapist's office together in silence, not even sparing each other a glance. During the sessions, you would talk individually and listen to each other but none of the words you spoke were ever directly towards each other. After the session, you had gone home, once again in silence, and slept in separate rooms.

This went on for a few weeks. The same routine every week and still no words were shared between you other than simple greetings and goodbyes. It seemed as though your relationship was headed to the end.

But then after a while, things slowly got better.

It was another cool, breezy night and you and Sherlock had just exited the therapist's office for your fourth weekly session and were on your way back home.

As you walked, you snuck glances at each other. When the other caught you, you'd quickly look away and resume the journey in silence.

By now, Spring had started to set and Summer was showing its face. It wasn't as dark anymore as it usually would be around this time and the temperatures were pleasant enough for Sherlock to leave his scarf and gloves at home that night.

You looked up at him again, capturing his gaze. This time, neither of you looked away and simply stared at each other for a while.

Eventually, you cleared your throat and stared ahead of you, focussing on the pavement as you felt the need to say something. ''You were right,'' you said quietly.

He gave you an odd look, one you didn't see, but his silence told you enough.

''About therapy. You were right.''

''It was John's suggestion, not mine. But, yes, he was right.''

''Do you think it's too late for us?'' you blurted out.

''What do you mean?''

You looked up at him, your eyes beginning to tear up. ''To mend our relationship. Do you think it's too late?''

''Do you?'' he inquired softly.

''I don't know,'' you croaked. ''We've hardly spoken to each other outside of our sessions every week. We haven't slept in the same bed in a month. We don't even work on cases together anymore. And before you say anything, I know it's my fault. You wanted to fix our relationship the second you noticed we were having problems and I got angry with you for it.''

''I understand why you reacted the way you did.''

''That doesn't make it right. I shouldn't have been so stubborn and I shouldn't have taken it so personally. It's just- I –'' You sighed, closing your eyes to fight the threatening tears.

Sherlock's hand slipped into your coat pocket and took hold of yours.

It was the first time you had properly touched each other since the argument had started weeks earlier. A long time for a ridiculous, pointless fight.

''I know,'' he said simply, squeezing your hand.

You looked up at him, a sad smile gracing your features.

''I may not know exactly what happened while we were apart, but I can see how it has affected you. It changed you as much as it changed me, but I see now it has affected us in different ways.''

''I didn't mean to be so distant, Sherlock. When you came back, after the initial shock, I was so glad to have you in my life again and things were going so well for us. But as time went on, the weight of the situation, I think, really hit me for the first time and I've been having a hard time dealing with it.''

''It isn't only you. Ever since I came back, I haven't been too considerate about how you were feeling. I got caught up in the joy of being able to see you again that I didn't realise to the full extent what hurt I had caused.''

You sniffled, letting a few tears roll down your cheeks. ''I don't want us to end.''

''Nor do I.''

You looked up at him, wrapping your hand tighter around his in your pocket. ''Please forgive me.''

He smiled softly at you, his eyes glistening in the fading sunlight. ''Only if you forgive me.''

A short laugh bubbled up from your throat. ''I think I can do that.''

''I think the same.''

''It's settled then? We're both forgiven?'' You smiled at him, feeling the butterflies in your stomach return.

He nodded. ''Completely.'' He moved his hand to grab your waist and leaned in for a kiss.

You hummed as you broke apart. ''I don't want to fight ever again. Especially when it's not necessary to.''

''I'll take you up on that.''

You giggled before kissing him again. ''I love you,'' you whispered against his lips. ''I'm sorry for being a stubborn idiot.''

''You're too smart to be an idiot, but I'm sorry, too.''

He pulled you closer against him as you continued your journey home.

You rested your head against him and smiled.

Things would be alright after all. 

~
Thank you for reading!

This is the last pre-written chapter I have (I had about 8 chapters pre-written before I started uni to keep updates steady for a while), so it'll probably take some time until the next update comes out as I have midterms coming up.

So sorry about that!

Story is almost finished, though. Thank you for sticking with me so far 💛