Mingkit; To Begin Again

Five

Relationship is always a friendship. Somehow you just demand more out of it. You've been told all your life, when you love someone and you're in a romantic relationship with them, they're supposed to be your everything.

This person is supposed to be the air you breathe. The light you can see with, the ground you walk on, the reason you get up everyday, the cause on your smile, the subject of your dreams. They're the one you see permanent on your future. 

This person is supposed to be the one that stands next to you, hold you when you hit the bottom of the deepest gap. Tell you it's going to be fine someday. Pick you up when you use all your energy on breathing.

Here he is, holding up on his own, barely staying on the surface. Every other second he goes underwater and breathes the water in, the slowest and the most painful way to die.

He lost a friend, a lover, his rock. He always demanded too much and the only thing left is regret. 

If he didn't get mad because of pointless things and if he tired a little bit harder to just love. 

He can't even blame anyone else. It's his own fault he lost the one that is supposed to be here to hold him now. But then again, if he never lost him, there wouldn't be a need for that.

Ming has stared on the ceiling unsure for how long. He's numb again. He tries to pick himself up every other week, but he always crashes back to the beginning.  His friends have had enough of him, he believes so. 

The door opens, his dad's head peeks inside and a sigh follows.

"Son, you need to get a hold of the reality, get up," he says and steps in. Ming doesn't move a bit. "We're all worried about you, how long have you laid here again?" he continues.

Ming gets up and pushes his dad outside, closing the door on his face. He knows all this. He doesn't need these words, he needs a way to get rid of his thoughts. He listens his dad close the front door, leaving the house. 

He walks to the kitchen and open the fridge just to find it empty. He sighs and dials Wayo, just to hear his answering machine beeping. "Fuck."

No choice but to go out, for the first time in four days. He hasn't even showered and it shows as he looks in the mirror. Regardless of his seedy look, he walks out of the house, pulling his hood on his eyes to prevent people freaking out.

He walks towards Wayo's apartment, just to have someone talking unnecessary things, covering the noise inside his mind. It got worse after getting better. Where's the surprise?

--

"Open the damn door!" Ming silently screams at Wayo's door as nobody responds. He kicks the door frustrated, then leaning on it. Slowly sliding down to sit.

He's sad, frustrated, angry and annoyed at the same time, unable to control any of those emotions. Biting his lip, closing his eyes is the best he can do.

"Hey," he then hears a delicate voice, saying carefully. Ming opens his eyes and sees a familiar pair of eyes right in front of him. He just looks at him, still biting his lip. Then out of nowhere, completely unplanned Ming pulls his head closer and kisses him.

He just keeps going until he's out of breathe because this man isn't pushing him off or trying to stop him. He leans his head back on the door, keeping his eyes shut because he doesn't want to know.

He's a complete mess and he keeps the mess up. 

Surprisingly soon Ming feels this person kiss him back, gently, almost overly carefully placing his lips on his. He feels like he's a criminal as he grabs this male's hair as his other hand pulls his head closer, so suddenly they're full making out on the hallway of his best friend's apartment building. 

Ming gets up and pulls him along, pushing the shorter male against the staircase wall, lips crashing on each other. 

It's steamy, spontaneous and fun.

Then the shorter male mumbles and pushes Ming's head gently away, looking into his eyes trying to read them.

Ming takes a step back, looking around embarrassed. "Sorry," he mumbles and scratches his neck awkward. The other one shakes his head.

"Do you remember me?" he asks.

Ming nods a little. "I do but your name.. I forgot," he laughs a little wanting to slap himself.

"Actually I don't think I ever introduced myself," he answers. Ming can't help but look at those eyes, twinkling like little stars. He nods and looks around. 

"I'm Kit."

A smile curves on Ming's lips. "Kit?"

"Mmmm," Kit mumbles approvingly.  

Ming just looks at his male, thinking what is it in him that makes this noise nearly disappear. He should be around more. But he can't. It's wrong.

Here he goes again, spiraling down to his thoughts, completely forgetting he has just made out hardcore with a stranger. It's not the first time.

But unlike all the others, Kit just makes him sit and sits next to him. Doesn't say a word. Just sits there and waits. Doesn't even pay attention on his way. 

Somewhat it's comforting. Ming feels comfortable to feel this mess of emotions next to him.