Sweet Dreams

Chapter 5

Merlin awoke the next morning, on the highest battlements, feeling drained. He had dry tears tracks on his cheeks and frantically wiped them off. Merlin stood up, wincing. He was aching all over from sleeping up on the battlements all night. He must of cried himself to exhaustion and passed out. He left the battlements and went to the kitchen, slowly, to get Arthur's breakfast. When he had his breakfast, Merlin reluctantly made his way to Arthur's chambers. He took the long way round to Arthur's chambers, not wishing to see the man he loved who doesn't remember the kiss that they shared. Merlin's head was bowed and his shoulders were slumped. On his way to Arthur's chambers, he saw one of the people he doesn't want to see: Gwen. He tried walking faster to make sure she doesn't notice him, but no such luck. "Merlin." She said, halting Merlin in his tracks. Merlin planted a fake smile on his face, and turned around to face Gwen.

"Gwen." Merlin said, with false cheer, voice hoarse. He cleared his throat. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine, Merlin, thanks for asking." Gwen said. "Are you?"

'No, I'm not fine.' He thought. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." He lied. "I have to go wake up, Arthur." Merlin's voice cracked a little bit. "I'll see you later, Gwen." And with that, Merlin turned around and walked off, leaving Gwen alone, watching him walk away, sadly. No matter how slowly Merlin walked, he could not delay the inevitable. He was already outside Arthur's chambers. Hands shaking, Merlin knocked on the door.

"Enter." Arthur's tired voice called. Merlin hesitated, before he opened the door. When he opened it, he was met with Arthur surprised look. Arthur was already up which meant Merlin was late. "Since when do you knock?" Arthur asked him, incredulous. Merlin just shrugged and set the breakfast on the table in front of Arthur. Without a word, he began cleaning the chambers. Arthur found it disconcerting seeing Merlin so quiet, his shoulders slumped and having a defeated expression. Arthur spent the night thinking over what Guinevere said last night. It made no sense. But seeing Merlin now, all defeated and not himself, his heart constricts painfully. Maybe he does love Merlin more... Arthur was broken out of his musings when the boy himself tripped over one of his tunics. Arthur rolled his eyes despite the situation. "Merlin, you clumsy idiot." Arthur teased, resorting to their usual banter. Hopefully that will spark a reaction out of Merlin.

"Sorry, sire." Merlin mumbled, so quietly, Arthur almost missed it. That was not what Arthur was expecting. Not one bit.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked, concerned.

Merlin's heart twisted painfully. "Yeah. I'm fine, sire." Merlin lied. Merlin straightened after tidying the room, head bowed. He looked like a competent servant which unnerved Arthur. Everything about Merlin's demeanour, screamed 'this is wrong'. "If you would excuse me sire, but I have to polish your armour." Merlin left Arthur's chambers to polish his chambers, to be away from Arthur. He couldn't bare to be in the same room as the man of his dreams any longer.

Arthur watched him go with an expression akin to worry, at the pain he saw briefly in his servants eyes, and tried to fathom why, but came up with a blank. It was probably what happened over the last few days that Arthur has recollection of. A knock on the door, broke his musings. "Enter." The opened, revealing Morgana. "Morgana?" Arthur asked, surprised. "To what, do I owe this pleasure?" He said, mockingly.

Morgana sneered at him. "Always so full of yourself, aren't you?" Morgana asked, rhetorically, coming fully into the room. Her face adopting to that of worry. "It's Merlin. I saw him exit your chambers a second ago, all defeated and I could have sworn I saw him wipe away a tear on his way out." Arthur felt a pang of pain in his heart at hearing that Merlin was distraught. Despite calling Merlin a girl, he had seldom seen him cry, if ever. Morgana's expression changed from worry, to anger. "What have you done?" She hissed at him.

"Morgana, I didn-"

"Whatever you did, you better fix it. Now." She ordered, before swiftly leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

"I don't even know what I did." Arthur yelled as the door closed. Arthur sighed in frustration, before leaning back in his chair. For the first time, Arthur Pendragon, feels completely lost.

***

Merlin was in the armoury polishing Arthur's sword, slowly. Merlin was cursing his stupid feelings for his prince and for ever hoping that his feelings would ever be reciprocated. Arthur would never feel the same way. Maybe the dragon was wrong and it had to be from someone he truly hated. Merlin shook his head. No, Arthur doesn't hate him otherwise he wouldn't have gotten the Mortius flower to cure Merlin when he got poisoned. But what if he was only doing it because felt like he owed him out of duty, rather than friendship? Well, he did throw him aside a while ago for that bootlicking thief, Cedric, without a second thought and then unceremoniously gave him, his job back without so much as an apology. Maybe... Arthur does hate him... No. Merlin stopped himself from thinking that. They were friends. At least he hoped they were. Maybe it was all one-sided and all in his head. Like his love. Merlin abandoned the armour, and dug the heals of his hands into his eyes, tears leaking from them. Merlin choked down a sob as he thought of his unrequited love. It felt as though his heart was ripped out of his chest, leaving only pain in his absence. The armour lay forgotten at his feet, as Merlin tried to muffle his heartbroken cries.

***

A/N: Sorry about the short chapter, but I will make sure the next one is longer.

I hope you enjoy the chapter, nonetheless.

Don't forget to vote and comment. I would love to hear your views,

@Triquetra123