Family Business

uh, thanks?

About a week later, Jason woke up to the sight of his family, plus Cassie and Wally, playing Uno on his legs.

"Ha! Draw four!" Bruce hollered triumphantly towards Wally, honestly scaring the speedster a tiny bit.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jason spoke hoarsely, his throat parched from disuse. All eyes were immediately on the antihero as Jason struggled to sit up, waving off Tim and Dick's help. "I get shot and everyone throws a party?"

"We were making bets on whether we would need the Lazarus Pit or not." Steph punched Jason's arm, earning a scowl of disapproval from Bruce. "You lost me twenty bucks, dude."

"Glad to see me being alive means something to you." Jason drawled sarcastically, eyes narrowed at the blonde. 

"Oh, shush, Mr. Drama Queen. You know it means very little." Tim snickered, narrowly dodging the pillow thrown his way. "Okay, okay. It means an adequate amount."

"Bitch, I got shot for you!"

"Technically, you got shot for a stupid cause but whose keeping track?" Barbara shrugged, nonapologetic. "Anyways, you just missed the doctor. He said once you wake up you should be good to go in a matter of a few days."

"Sweet, I have so much work to catch up on." Jason cracked his knuckles, earning a deep frown from Bruce. "What is it now, B?"

"Jay, you were shot. You are not going out on patrols or whatever it is you do for a long time." Bruce countered.

"And I also got stabbed before this whole debacle, so what?" Jason sneered at Bruce.

"You are not helping your case. The answer is still no."

"I'm not asking permission, Bruce. I'm still going out, you can't stop me."

"Oh, yeah? Well-"

The siblings exchanged looks and started to back towards the door, signaling to Cassie and Wally to do the same. Once they were outside in the hall, Wally turned to Dick with a question Dick answered before it could be asked. "You don't want to witness a fight between Jason and Bruce, trust me. They are ugly and last forever."

"So what do we do now?" Cassie asked, slipping her hand into Tim's. "I was really enjoying watching Bruce kick Wally's butt at Uno."

"Hey!"

"We could go back to the manor? Or to the mountain?" Stephanie suggested, leading the charge towards the elevator. "I put my vote in towards the manor, I'm a bit tired of your drab hangout conditions. Ooh, maybe we can show you the Ba-"

"No."

"Damn, I tried, Cassie. I really did."

"So, let's go back to the manor then." Barbara shot Steph a wary look, rolling her eyes playfully at the pout on the blonde's face. She pressed the button to head down to the lobby, regretting it instantly as soon as the doors opened and they were bombarded by press in the lobby.

"Richard! Richard! Is it true your brother Jason is back from the dead?" One reporter shouted, shoving his way towards the group.

"Is Jason Todd going to die again?" Cassie and Wally were overwhelmed by the questions being flung at the siblings but followed in their footsteps and acted collected as best they could.

Until Damian heard a question he did not care for at all.

"Damian, how do you feel about being Bruce's real son, yet having his attention stolen away from you by a zombie?"

Damian stopped dead in his tracks causing Dick to bump into his back. The youngest whirled around with a cold look on his face, murder in his eyes as he stared down the reporter that dared to utter such a heinous question.

"I may be father's blood son, but my siblings are just as much his children as I am. And as for Todd 'stealing away' my father's attention, well, it is good thing. He just went through a very traumatic time, having been mysteriously restored to life only to be shot by Joker. He deserves our father's love and attention in this moment. He is not a zombie and for you to insinuate that, well, I would be more careful with my word choices if I were you. We wouldn't want the wrong people to hear this, now would we?"

Damian smirked, turning back around and pushing his way through the crowd towards the front door. The group made their way outside in silence, stopping once they reached Alfred waiting with the car. They all piled inside, nobody saying a word until Tim snickered.

"I think that is the first time you've admitted you see me as your equal."

"I said you were as much father's son as I am, not that you are my equal. I am still far superior to you." Damian sneered at Tim.

"And there is the Damian we know and love." Dick chuckled, ruffling Damian's hair much to his annoyance.

"Do not think I am above ending you, Grayson."

"Awe, little D, you wouldn't."

Cassie leaned into Tim's ear, whispering lowly so no one else would hear. "Is it always like this with your family? All the fighting and bickering?"

Tim thought about it for a millisecond. "This is actually pretty tame for Damian and Jason, usually there are weapons involved."

Cassie looked appalled for half a second before she remembered that Damian was the heir to the League of Assassins and Jason was the Red Hood and has, on numerous occasions, tried to kill each member of the family. "So we got lucky today?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

While Tim and Cassie were having their hushed conversation, Steph slipped her new phone out and pulled up her messages, sending a quick text to the group chat she started with the team.

Spoiler and Bitches

Spoiled: Hey, we are hanging out at the manor, come join.

BB: You don't live there, are we ACTUALLY invited by someone who lives there?

Spoiled: Jaime, do I have to kick your butt? Get yo asses over here.

Impulsive: Okay, okay. Don't hurt us, geez.

Spoiled: Smart boi.

Artemis: What's with the name of the group chat?

Spoiled: Like it?

Awkualad: It fits.

Artemis: How?

Awkualad: Because we are, in fact, bitches.