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We were walking back to mine Our steps synchronised. I felt his arm brush against mine; such a tender and soft moment, a totally insignificant moment, yet I find it amazing how that one touch made me feel so weak.

He didn't say anything the whole journey home. I knew something was wrong...

When we got to my room he threw his bag to the floor and jumped on my bed with his hands behind his head, as casual as ever. The sight of him, lying in my room, on my sheets had never brought the same excitement to me as it did in that moment. He gave a long breathy sigh and turned on his side to face the wall.
"What's wrong? Is it the chemistry? Are you not understanding mass spectrometry because I can explain it to you or we can find dr cherry on Monday,"

"It's not the chemistry Ben,"

"Then tell me what's wrong Matthew, god throw me a fricking bone here,"

"It's the Jenna situation,"

And then I remembered. Jenna. She was totally in love with him, and everyone knew it. I mean she did openly tell people how he made her very wet. The situation made my heart hurt because I knew deep down he secretly liked the attention. With caution I Carried on questioning the cause of my friends concerns.

"Jenna? Was it her telling people about the little incident?" I said trying to add humour to diffuse the situation
" shut up," he said with a smirk, showing the depth of his double dimple that made me feel lost in his beauty " but yeah, kind of,"

" kind of, what do you mean, kind of, are you enjoying the situation?"

"I really don't know ben... how do you feel about it?"

I immediately became defensive as to not let on that it monumentality killed me "well I don't know it's a bit weird, but if you like it then go for it I guess,"

" you really think that... that I should, well... really?"

"Geez Matthew, I don't know I can't read your emotions or tell you how you feel about her!!!" I replied with an angry tone as I was getting sick of talking about the topic.

"Ok Ben, sorry I mentioned it, never mind,"
I could tell that he was hurting, I just didn't know why. I know he wants her, but this despair? Why, for god sake? I wished I understood him, I wished I could take his pain away. It felt like I used to know him better than anyone, better than his mum, but all of a sudden he'd become a total stranger, and the person whose thoughts I could always tell just by the way he was sat; if he was uncomfortable he'd slouch, If happy, he held his hands together in between his legs, sad and he'd look at the floor. The stranger; slowly killing me, but in the best, the most delicious way possible.

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