Too complicated

Too complicated: Part 13

 Tom POV:

Time is such a funny thing. I mean, can you really argue that it exists? Where's the proof? Truth is, it's a man made construct that humanity has fallen so dependant on, we couldn't possibly function without it. And everyone's relationship with time is a rocky one. Because in the moments you're with loved ones, or enjoying a relaxing vacation, time seems to slip away faster than your brain can manage to comprehend. Yet in the moments you are dreading, in the moments you're heart is beating so fast and violently you're scared it will send you into cardiac arrest, time turns minutes into eternities.

 And that was me right now. My ears burned up and the palms of my hands were soaked with sweat as if I had dunked them in a bucket of water. It was the silence of it all. That's what made it a million times worse. She stood there, completely motionless, her eyes wide with such shock, her eyes batting her long eyelashes, her mouth hanging slightly open. I couldn't even register that I had said it out loud, not to mention these feelings I had gotten for her. And now I fear I've messed it all up, for letting my heart be so vulnerable for her, being so desperate for her, for needing her.

Y/n: What?

She speaks slicing the tension that hung so claustrophobically around us. I shake my head and look away, her eyes that could so effortlessly hold me captive trying to search for mine but I kept them firm on the carpet around her feet.

Tom: Nothing, nothing. I mean, it's late, you should get to bed.

Y/n: Tom...

Tom: Seriously, you should go. I should go. Can we...can we just not talk about this? Please?

And the suffocation that is the tension creeped back into the room, but this time we were quicker to react. She nodded and started slowly for the stairs, placing her hand on the banister to steady herself before she turned back to me.

Y/n: Can you...can you stay with me tonight?

She sounded so nervous to ask me. But why? Was I not the one who had just humiliated myself in front of her? Her voice was so small and cautious, like when I child asks their parents for a new toy. At first I thought she was joking.

Tom: Yeah, Of course.

She smiled and continued walking up the stairs, glancing back at me to see if I was following, and at the sight my feet dragged me to trail after her. I laid in her bed as she walked from side to side of her now restored organised room, watching the way she moved so elegantly which took my mind back to the first time I had seen her in the diner. I smiled to myself at the memory, and how easy it was to, well, fall in love with her. She came towards me and slipped under the covers, resting her head on my chest and her arm across my body. I held her against me, running my hand through her hair, making me forget about my embarrassment only a few minutes ago. Her breathing steadied out, convincing me she was asleep. But then her sleepy voice spoke and tightened her grip on me.

Y/n: I don't want you to think that I don't-

Tom: Y/n, it's okay.

Y/n: No I know, it's just...right now I don't know what I'm feeling. Everything is so messed up, and I didn't think it would have been fair if I told you that I...so I didn't say anything and now I'm thinking that was worse and I just I want to be sure when-

Tom: Hey, it's okay.

Y/n: I'm so sorry.

Tom: You have nothing to be sorry for.

I kissed her head gently, feeling her hands draw circles on my skin.

Tom: Tomorrow, we'll meet with social services, we'll do everything we can to get Noah back, and everything will be fine.

She nods her head and closed her eyes, and fell asleep in my arms.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/n: What if he refuses to come to the meeting?

She spoke whilst her leg bounced up and down as we sat in the back of a discrete black taxi as we drove through the busy streets of the city. She was fidgeting and biting her lip so much I thought she would draw blood any second. I placed my hand on top of hers to calm her, and she fiddled with my fingers as they laid on her lap.

Tom: He will. You just have to tell them how unsuitable he is, and he'll have to come so they can assess him.

Y/n: But that could be days.

Tom: Don't think like that. Maybe he's changed from when you lived with him?

Y/n: People don't change Tom.

Tom: Sure they do, you just need to be patient.

Y/n: He's had his chance. I'm not willing to give him any more.

It really shows you how someone can become so different when they're broken. I missed her playful shoves when she caught me staring at her instead of paying attention to the road whilst I drove her home. And her smile as she sees me walk into the diner. I want it all back. The little tendencies she had that drove my heart to insanity. We pulled up to our destination and walked in, hand in hand and was greeted by a rather unpleasant receptionist.

Y/n: Great start.

Y/n mumbled as we took a seat in the waiting area. She let go of my hand as she caught the glances of a few people staring at me, then down at our hands, then back up at me. 

Eventually we were called in. You know that feeling when you've been summoned to the headteacher's office, and you start sweating and think of every possible lie you can tell? This reminded me of that.

Mrs Dawson: Good morning. My name is Mrs Dawson, I understand you have a complaint you would like to discuss regarding the care of your little brother?

Y/n: Yes. You took him from my care a few days ago-

I squeezed her thigh slightly to calm her. She was clearly already worked up so I tried my best to sooth her so she could give a better impression of how she usually is.

Y/n: You've placed him in the care of our former carer. Having lived and suffered from his abuse, I'm scared that Noah is in a lot of danger.

Mrs Dawson: I see. You're files state that you have made these allegations before, but they were overlooked since there wasn't enough sufficient evidence supporting your claims.

Y/n: Yes because he threatened us if we were to disclose any information about his parenting.

Mrs Dawson: Ma'am our council have deemed your uncle a suitable carer for your little brother. Now if you do not have any proof of his supposedly abusive treatment, I cannot conduct a hearing for Noah Y/l/n's custody.

Y/n: What if I could show you proof?