Too complicated

Too complicated Part 19

Y/n POV:

He was actually there. Standing not even two metres away from me, with that same charming as hell smile that could warm you up faster than a hot chocolate on a winter's day. You know that cosy, fuzzy feeling you get when you're snuggled up in a blanket by a glowing fire, spitting its rhythmic patterns of red and yellow ribbons that dance around the flames in an elegant ballet? The safety and warmness it provided that made it irresistible to look or walk away from, so you stay there staring at its beauty, in awe of its perfect chaos. He always reminded me of that. Because as much as the attraction and cover of it all can be so luring, you must always remember the danger which remains within. And keep away. 

His eyes read tired, like this was the first time he would've been allowed a break the entire day, now when the moon has stamped its presence in the sky letting the city rest for tonight. But not him. I didn't say anything as he waited patiently for my response, I just clutched the rose in my hand, feeling the sting of a thorn piercing my skin, but I didn't move it.

Y/n: Tom...

He just smiled drinking up my voice uttering his name after all this time. He chuckled as he stared into my eyes, trying to replicate the times he would be able to just look at me with them and I'd fall completely helpless at his will.

Tom: Hi Y/n.

I didn't know what to do, or say. What would you do if the person you loved just suddenly reappeared in your life once again, catching you off guard? Freeze?

Y/n: What...what are you doing here?

Tom: I'm in town for press. I wanted to come see you, are you free to talk?

I glanced around the diner, finally releasing my eyes from his captivity and judging if it was quiet enough to leave the rest of the staff to manage. I deemed it okay and nodded as I carefully stashed the rose under the counter and untied my apron and slipped around the table to walk with him to the door. I grabbed my jacket and threw it over my shoulders as we silently left. 

The cold air nipped at our skins as we heard only the distant drumming of the city and the sound of our shoes slapping the pavement. I snuck a glance at him and his mind seemed as occupied as the subway at rush hour, I knew he wouldn't figure out what he wanted to say anytime soon, so I spoke at last, cutting the torturous silence we wrapped ourselves in.

Y/n: So...you and Rachel Moore?

He snapped out of his daze and he looked me dead in the eye.

Tom: Huh?

Y/n: You and Rachel? I saw the news a while ago...you guy seemed happy.

He slipped his hands from his pockets and moved his fingers around each other.

Tom: Yeah umm...sorry can I ask you something?

He stopped dead in his tracks, hardly giving me enough time to react and stop walking too. I turn to face him and it's as if he's trying to hide behind the space between us.

Y/n: Uh...yeah sure.

Tom: Who gave you that rose? The one you had back in the diner?

I shifted between the balance of my feet and raised my eyebrow at him, crossing my arms in front of my chest and scoffing. After all this time, that is the question he decides to ask?

Y/n: Why does it matter?

I say unintentionally harshly, and I can tell he's slightly wounded by my tone.

Tom: It's a rose Y/n. A single rose. That's not a flirty bouquet of flowers a secret admirer left you. That's not a bunch of tulips a friend got you as a present. It's a single rose. You don't give that to someone unless you're...unless you love them. Truly love them. So I guess...I was just wondering.

I finally manage to grab hold of his eyes as they drifted to mine during his last sentence. But my brain has no idea how to react. I want to tell him. Half of me is restraining myself not to stand right there and tell him everything that's happened. But the other half is keeping those emotions caged, and renders me unable to process his words.

Y/n: It's been a year Tom.

Tom: I know that. I wanted you to move on, be happy.

Y/n: I did.

He looked down to his feet and turned his body to face the skyline we could see from the top of the hill we had walked up. The park was empty besides us, yet I still felt unbearably claustrophobic.

Tom: That's good.

He didn't mean that.

Y/n: And so did you by the looks of things.

He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head repeatedly as he stared down at me. His gentle eyes being so desperate for me to hear his words.

Tom: Why would you say that?

Y/n: Rachel?

Tom: No, no god no. That wasn't serious. Just a fling the paps caught.

Y/n: Oh so you were just sleeping with her for fun then?

His face fell and it looked like his heart was slipping out of the grasps of his hand, soon to drop to the ground and break. I remember when I once got to hold it. I missed that feeling, the feeling of surrendering my heart and swapping it for his.

Y/n: I'm sorry. I have no right to say that.

Tom: It's okay. I just want you to know that it never happened to me again. Falling in love. It was impossible.

My eyes watered up, and I forced myself to keep them away.

Y/n: Why are you here Tom? After all this time?

Tom: I needed to see you.

Y/n: And what you thought that you would come back after a year and pretend like things are normal?

His eyes fogged up and the pools of brown beauty threatened to overflow.

Tom: No I...I thought I'd be okay with you moving on. I knew you would one day, but not me. I just needed to know.

The towers he was balancing on his shoulders were pushing him down, weakening his strength as he spoke his mind, leaving him vulnerable and frightened.

Y/n: My boyfriend gave me the rose. I broke up with him before you arrived.

His eyes sparked hope as I handed him the words he needed.

Tom: Why did you break up with him?

I sighed and shook my head, not being confident enough to look him in his eyes.

Y/n: You know why.

A smirk crept on his face, attacking his lips and nestling in. I pushed him gently and let my own smile take control. He took my hands and kissed them softly as he looked back to me.

Tom: I really missed you Y/n.

Y/n: I missed you too Spidey.