Too complicated

Too complicated: Part 17

Tom POV:

She glances over at Noah who seemed perfectly content with watching his cartoons, so she turns back to me, that smile still spread beautifully across her face and nodded, taking my hand and guiding me up the stairs towards her bedroom. I gently shut the door behind me and she looks at me and giggles, god her laugh is so gorgeous.

Y/n: Why are you shutting the door?

She grins as she strolls over to her desk, shutting down her laptop as she saved numerous files of work before closing the lid shut. Always a satisfying act for a student.

Tom: I umm...just thought we could use the privacy.

She raises her eyebrow questioningly, making her way to me and folding her arms in front of her chest.

Y/n: Really?

I tried to keep away. Really I did. But she's too irresistible, too addictive. It would be like telling the sun to abandon the sky, or forbidding the moon to enchant the night. It would be impossible. So against my own will, my arms slipped around her waist and brought her against me, her heartbeat syncing with mine as she stared intently into my eyes, full of hope and love. She kissed me deep and rough, tasting the alcohol off of my lips, feeling my hunger for hers. She laced her fingers through the curls of my hair and kissed my cheek so delicately before burying her face in my neck, breathing in my cologne and masking herself in it as she held on to me with such need.

Y/n: What did you want to talk about?

I pulled away, trailing me hands down her arm until they reached her fingers, and I pulled and fought meaningless battles with her own and mine in my hand. I kept my eyes firm on them, but I could tell she was smiling at the sight. I took a deep breath in, hoping I'd be collecting some courage to tell her too.

Tom: I have to leave Y/n.

She broke her gaze at our hands and slowly drifted her eyes towards mine. But I couldn't look. Not yet. Not without breaking. She snuck her hands out my grasp and at an instant I tried to catch them before they could leave, but I was too late and she was already half way across the room. Her back faced me as she walked over to her balcony, stepping out into the cool night breeze, listening to the distant hum of the city stretching far out into the vastness. I joined her side and she fiddled with her fingers as she spoke so quietly.

Y/n: When?

Tom: A few days.

All she did was nod and continue to look out into the city lights calling her with each siren or blinking sign.

Y/n: I'm going to miss you. I won't lie about that. And I knew you would have to leave eventually. I'm just...I'm just going to miss you.

Her voice caught at the last sentence, and I encased her in my arms as she leaned in closer to my embrace.

Y/n: How long?

Tom: A month and a bit.

She bit her lip and smiled sadly. I knew what she was thinking. I knew she was going over it in her head, finding all the right formulas and equations she could use to solve this problem. Trying to work out if we could survive that or not. Her eyes stained with a glassy exterior and she closed them to shield it from my heart ready to shatter at the sight. She carefully turned around to face me and rested her eyes in mine.

Y/n: Do you think maybe we should-

Tom: I don't want to.

She sighed and brought her hands up to my cheeks, cupping them softly as if they were the most fragile possession she had ever held.

Y/n: Tom, we both know it's what we should do.

At this point I didn't bother hiding the tears. They streamed so easily down my face as she wiped them away with her thumbs.

Tom: I don't think I can live through that.

Y/n: It won't be forever.

I steadied my breathing and went back in her bedroom, sitting myself on the bed in fear my legs would give out at any moment. She placed herself next to me as she positioned her chin on my shoulder waiting for me to gather my thoughts and continue.

Tom: I know it's the right thing. I know it's not fair to leave you here on your own and expect you to wait.

She kisses the exposed between my neck and shoulder and lets her lips linger against the surface for a while.

Y/n: And...when you come home?

Tom: We'll see what our lives have played out like.

Another few minutes go past as we sat in silence, the only sounds being from the the subtle forces of wind against the window and the faint tune of the television downstairs.

Y/n: I guess I should stop kissing you now then?

Humour to mask the pain. Possibly one of the most well renowned methods to handling heartbreak.

Tom: I love you. More than anything. Please never forget that. Not whilst I'm away, not ever.

Y/n: I won't. I promise. I love you too.

Remember when I told you about our first kiss? The fiery and wild emotions we conjured up in each other's bodies simultaneously as we clung on to the clothes we wore that grew into a desperation to get rid of. How I missed that feeling. Because now, I wasn't sure if we would ever have that again. We savoured this kiss, made sure it lasted for as long as we could possibly have to encourage our hearts to remember the exact feeling, the exact taste. The love and passion it filled us up with, the most beautiful thing to ever feel in this world, I felt a sting of pain realising it would all vanish soon.

Tom: Goodbye Y/n.

Y/n: Goodbye Spidey.

Y/n POV:

He stood and left the room without looking back. It was the right move I guess, I know if I had looked into those big brown eyes of his, there would be no way I would have been able to let him leave. I hear Noah running along the hallway to hug him, the sound of his footsteps echoing up to the thin walls upstairs. Then the door opened and shut. And all I could do was lay back on my bed and shut my eyes, burying myself hidden from the rest of the world. I know the voice wasn't his. I know that because I heard him left. But your mind can be such a cruel device. Because his voice only made me think of him.

Noah: Y/n?

Y/n: Yeah?

Noah: Are you okay?

Y/n: No...not really.