But It Isn't Enough!

Chapter 9

Mal: what are you doing here?
Harry: sorry for coming here but I couldn't sleep and...
Mal: it's because of me right?
Harry: I don't want to bother you at that time I should go...
Mal: NO! I mean you are welcome to stay if you want to...
Harry: thanks...if I went to Uma she would kill me! (he's so funny! Okay maybe that wasn't so funny to laugh at and yes I've heard better but it's 1:04 in the morning, if we can call that morning, and he is here ready to sleep with me. JUST sleep though! Nothing else!)
Mal: so... what did you saw that made you stop sleeping?

Is it inappropriate to ask that? Sh*t! He's going to be embarrassed now and he'll leave. I want him here. I need him...

Harry: nothing to worry about. Hey you were sleeping should we get back to it? I feel bad enough for waking you up!

Can we just take a moment to think of how much he changed against me? He always hated me and treated me the worst way such as Uma did but now... he's so good. Harry Hook feeling sorry that he woke me up? Insane!

Mal: you're right about the sleep part not the feeling bad part.

We lie down right next to each other and when I accidentally touch him I can feel that he's hot. Well I know that already... whatever! He is anxious about being so close to me. I'm too but I enjoy it very much. It's been so long since I lied to a bed with someone I love. Did I just say that I love him? I'm tired to think now so I'll go with the easy answer...

Mal: I love you

WHAT THE H*ELLLLL DID I JUST DO??? I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF!! OH MY GOD I SAID OUT LOUD THAT I LOVE HIM!! GOD PLEASE HELP ME!!

Mal: Harry? Harry? (he's already asleep thank God! I was ready to pass out! Now let's try to sleep after a that...)

2 Days Before The Wedding

Harry: good morning
Mal: hey... (he gives me a cup of coffee and he holds his)

He sits on the bed and I lean close to him and kiss him on the lips...WHAT? What's happening to me since yesterday? Last night I told him that I love him and now I act like we are a couple that slept together!

Mal: I'm so sorry! I didn't want to do that!
Harry: it's okay don't worry but why did you did it?
Mal: I just woke up and the image of you bringing me coffee to bed it made feel like we are a couple...sorry
Harry: don't mind.

What? Why he takes it so chill? He doesn't care that I kissed him? It's our first official kiss and he took it so chill! Well he is either an *ssh*le that doesn't care about anything or an understanding person. I can't decide!

Mal: so we just let it go...like that?
Harry: if it didn't mean anything then yes.
Mal: okay...hey!
Harry: what's up again? (again? Is he bored of me?)
Mal: what happened with you? You're so...
Harry: ...normal?
Mal: no! You're rude and you don't care about what just happened!
Harry: I don't care!? YOU THINK I DON'T CARE? I just want to be KIND and try not to make you feel awkward because YOU JUST KISSED ME! I waited for this moment my whole life and now that I got I try to play cool so I don't ashame you! Do you feel better with your self now?
Mal: I have to go.

I know that I should stay here and talk to him about everything. I know I should. But it's too much pressure on me right know.

Harry: you're leaving your own house!?
Mal: I JUST NEED TO TAKE A WALK!
Harry: NO!
Mal: what do you mean no?
Harry: we have to talk and you'll not escape!
Mal: HARRY! I just need some air!

I don't leave him enough time to say something more before I storm out of the room. I always thought that people were putting pressure on me but now I can see that I'm the crazy b*tch!

Evie: what happened? Why are you so furious?
Mal: I can't take this anymore.I know I'm crazy but I have to decide on something.  I lost Ben and everything I had, I lost my evil senses and if you ask me I honestly don't want to get back there, and I found out about Harry and what he thinks or feels about me. I'm getting married with somebody that I didn't choose to. Well I chose him in the beginning but everything changed now. Me and Harry had a fight today!
Evie: wait a second! What did you fight about with Harry?
Mal: well last night he came to my place because he couldn't sleep and we sort of... slept together. But not that way! Just sleeping!
Evie: what the h*ll? You slept in the same bed with Harry? The guy that likes you? And do you think you'll like him back?
Mal: actually yeah
Evie: well I got only one thing to say. You are f*cked up girl!
Mal: well if you could wait you would hear more!
Evie: okay okay I'm listening go on tell you story!
Mal: so last night when he was asleep, something I didn't know, I was thinking about him and I accidentally said out loud that I love him. I was I'm really lucky that he was asleep and he didn't hear that.
Evie: okay can we take a moment to think of how ridiculous you are?
Mal: why am I ridiculous it was a freaking accident?
Evie: I'm not talking about that. You clearly love him! Why do you stay back?
Mal: please since yesterday I've questioned so many times myself if I love him and I don't want just say it out loud once more!
Evie: Mal... We've talked about this. If you don't think about your problems, if you don't try to solve them you'll never manage to move on! That's what's keeping you back! You use the excuse that you are still in love with Ben, something that's clearly not true anymore, but in reality you just don't have the courage to admit that you love Harry now. You think that if you love somebody that you've always seem to hate and be rude to you'll be a fool. That everything is going to change to worse. But babygirl that's not true! I've been your best friend since we were babies and I've managed to know you really well. It's not only you though it's...LOGIC! Even if it wasn't you in this position I would say that to any friend of mine that could be going through the same sh*t as you're going through.
Mal: Evie I'm not trying to keep myself back! I really try to move on but it just can't happen! After all I still have a marriage to take care of and then...an empty thing that I'll have to call it "my life".
Evie: Mal come on...
Mal: No! You know what I have after the marriage? Nothing! A big, fat NOTHING!
You have someone that loves you but I!
Evie: the sooner you realise that there is life after Ben the the soonest you'll be happy. And mark my words: Harry is your soulmate.
Mal: I can't think of that yet.
Evie: why not!?
Mal: because I'm getting married in like 2 or 3 days!
Evie: and...?
Mal: Evie let this go for now.
Evie: fine I will but promise that after the marriage you'll try to take care of yourself!
Mal: ok I will! Happy now?
Evie: very! Okay now we should go to make the preparations for the wedding. You have a lot to do!
Mal: Tell me about it!

Ben: Good morning!
Mal: hi Ben...
Evie: good morning our precious king!
Mal: really funny... ha ha ha
Ben: oh come on Mal today is an interesting day! I'm going to ask you something!
Mal: go on...
Ben: are diamonds your best friends?
Mal: no
Ben: but do you like them?
Mal: no
Ben: then this won't be an interesting day for you!
Evie: MAL! WHAT THE H*LL? Tell us Ben! I LOVE diamonds!
Mal: of course you do... (rolling my eyes... nothing to do here)
Ben: every princess DOES! (why does everybody smile on the sound od the word "diamonds"? Not impressed...)
Mal: cut it out and tell us the plan!
Ben: yes alright... today we pick jewellery for the wedding and the vows rings! Also... we write our vows and rehearse.
Mal: anything else...?
Ben: OH actually a lot of things but I don't need to name every single one of these!
Mal: amazing... it's going to be a wonderful day...