Bad At Love | ✔️

Epilogue

HEARTBREAK IS INEVITABLE; falling in love is, too. 

But learning to love yourself? That's a journey only a few get to travel and come out on the other side unscathed. 

I was scarred, my heart had barbed wire wrapped around it like a rope tied in knots. From the time I was a child, I convinced myself I wasn't good enough. Not pretty enough. I tried to convince myself someone else's arms would fix that. I thought they could cure my doubts and self consciousness. Without having to lift my own finger. For me? I'd say it took a good three years to fully understand that I had to put in the work.

I spent the last few months keeping to myself. I had taken plenty of road trips with myself. Finding myself marking trails on the map to walk through. I would turn off my phone and be one with nature for the first time in my life. Alone and one. I felt peace for the first time in my life. When I got into the routine of being alone and finding comfort in solace, I knew it was time to jump back out there. 

I realized I was worth more than any man or family member could ever give me. My confidence was never the issue, not when it came to my physical attractiveness. But my vulnerable mind always kept me from seeing red flags and choosing the wrong guys. I tried for a few months. A few dates here and there from dating apps and people I met through friends. I was getting a feel of dating again, setting boundaries with myself. I didn't expect anything, I didn't want anyone to expect anything from me. When I finally realized the strangers I was meeting didn't compare to the love I had felt before... I couldn't let it go.

"Farrah, are you coming?" Silas' voice echoed through the apartment as his foot steps followed suit. His hand snaked around my waist as he placed a kiss onto my shoulder, "not having second doubts are we?" He mused as he peppered kisses along my neck. I couldn't help but giggle and lean into him.

"Not at all, just," I breathed as I placed my hands onto his, "saying goodbye to freedom." I teased as I leaned my head back into his shoulder to place a kiss on his jaw. He rolled his eyes as he pinched my hip slightly. I squealed as I turned around to face him.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Moving in with you is definitely on my bucket list. So, I couldn't be happier," I wrapped my arms around his neck with a quick kiss. He shook his head jokingly, causing his hair to fall into his eyes. I smiled as I raised my hand to swipe it away.

"You need a hair cut, baby. This is getting bad," I stuck out my tongue as he rolled his eyes at me again.

"Okay, say one more thing, Farrah, and your ass is mine," he looked me in the eyes. A mischievous grin playing on his lips as his hands slid down onto my ass. He cupped it firmly with a shake as my shorts rode up to reveal more skin."You'd like that, wouldn't you?" I smiled as I leaned up to kiss his cheek. He shook his head and slid his hands down to the middle of my thighs, picking me up. He forced me to wrap my legs around his waist.

"That's it, you're mine. Now, let's have a proper goodbye for this apartment, shall we?" He raised a brow as his lips found the sweet spot on my neck, causing me to moan loudly. My hands found their way into his hair as usual, while he sent shivers up my spine like he had so many times in the last year. He knew how to drive me crazy in many ways. But Silas had my heart whether I'd like to admit it or not. We had been together for the last year and a half, and it was the healthiest relationship I had been in. We had one day a month set for a date night. We made sure we always had time for friends and family, even if that meant it wasn't together. I managed to allow him back in, giving him trust bit by bit.