Olivia // Jake Kiszka

9. Josh

"Olivia?"

When Josh woke up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, the last thing he could've thought he would be seeing there was Olivia. It doesn't make it any less pleasant to see her, anyway.

"Good morning," she says, with a nice smile and tired eyes.

"Good morning. I didn't expect to see you here." He fills a glass with water and leans on the counter, watching her make some pancakes, the scent of it inebriating him.

"It wasn't planned, actually. Jake got coffee from The Mugs yesterday morning, I got a little worried 'cause I thought he looked like shit, so I went to the record store after work to see if he was alright. One thing led to another and I ended up here." She chuckles.

"Is he still asleep?"

"He is. I woke up early 'cause I have to go to work. He wanted to get up as well, but I didn't let him." The last pancake is placed on top of the others and she motions for him to join her at the table.

"You really like him, don't you?" Asks Josh after a moment of silently eating. She looks cute when she blushes, he notes.

"I do." Her voice is soft and she doesn't look at him, she just runs the fork lightly across her pancake.

"Did you tell him that?"

"I made it pretty clear yesterday, I think." She looks at him, her eyes glow with innocence.

"He thought it was pretty clear last time, but then you brought a guy to our gig, yanno." She sighs and goes back to playing with the food.

"That was fucked up, I know."

"Why did you do that?"

She keeps her head down for a few seconds, facing the plate; she then looks up at the ceiling and lets out a sigh before finally facing him. Her confidence is long gone, for the first time looking in her eyes, Josh can't seem to find any certainties.

"Joy said she thought he was in love with me."

"Well, she wasn't wrong," he adds.

"I freaked, Josh. I don't know how to deal with this kinda stuff, I'm no good for him and I can't bear the idea of hurting him."

"Then don't hurt him," he says like it's obvious and, in his head, it really is.

"That's not how it works, I destroy everything that is good."

"Liv, let me tell you something." He reaches for her hand on the other side of the table and run his fingers gently on top of it. "Sometimes a relationship lasts forever, sometimes it ends up with pain and broken hearts, and that's fine. If you break his heart, you won't be the first one to do it and certainly not the last, but, in the end, he'll survive and the only thing that'll really matter is all the good things you shared. So allow him to live these good things and, most important, allow yourself to be happy. I don't know who told you this bullshit about you destroying good things, but it's not true, so forget about it and give yourself a chance."

The white part of her eyes is taken by a very light shade of pink. He never thought he would see her crying, but here she is, right in front of him, grey eyes flooding with tears.

"What do I do?" Her voice is weak, he tightens the hold on her hand.

"You still camping with us next weekend, right?" She nods. "Due to some shitty relationships, his self esteem is kinda fucked up and he used to say you were embarrassed of him because you wouldn't even touch him in public. That's an opportunity for you to show him he was wrong."