ME, MYSELF AND I

Method 3: Exercising self-love

1. Practise self-compassion: to improve your inner voice is the first step to self-love but it's not the last one. Practising self-compassion means treating yourself with the same energy and love, you would treat others. You should treat yourself just as well as you treat other people around, because you deserve it! With self-compassion we accept that some moments are painful but in response we hug ourselves with care and kindness.
Especially when things are difficult you should try to take care of yourself. For example:

• Forgive yourself: instead of being critical when things don't go the way you planned, try to be more gentle with yourself. This may be hard if you're not used to doing it but it can help to recognize that sometimes there is nothing you can do. Some experiences are just inevitable.
• Recognize that you're just a human being: as humans we all make mistakes and most of the time those mistakes are impacted by external factors that we can't control. Making mistakes is a part of life and recognizing them helps us to be more compassionate with ourselves and others.
• Speak and think kindly about yourself: sometimes we forget that words can hurt more than blows. Words are so powerful that if you say constantly to yourself you are unworthy, you will start do believe it. Start changing the names you apply to yourself and have more compassion for it. If it's hard for you to do this, imagine talking about yourself as you would talk about someone you love like your best friend.

2. List your positive characteristics and reflect on them daily:
I know it can be difficult to say something positive about yourself when you usually have a negative self image. But this is what this list is about. You have to remind yourself day by day what a wonderful person you are and why.
Start writing positive things about yourself. But you can't just write, "I'm generous" you have to be very specific, for example "When I know a friend of mine is having a hard time, I give him a small gift to show that I care. This makes me generous".
3. Give yourself time: don't feel guilty for spending time with yourself. It is necessary and important for you to be sometimes alone because only then, you will be capable to notice your true feelings and get to know yourself better.
4. Celebrate yourself: if you have achieved a significant accomplishment, celebrate it! Go to your favourite restaurant and celebrate it with some friends. Although, it doesn't even have to be a significant accomplishment. I mean, you're working every day and even surviving a hard day is an accomplishment! So try to find reasons to reward yourself with something nice and remember, it doesn't have to be material.
5. Create a plan to deal with negativity: there are constantly things and people that will make you feel down and you can't change that. But you can control your responses and actions. For this reason you have to be prepared for those situations. Having a plan so you know how you can deal with those situations can be very helpful. When I'm starting to think negatively, I calm myself by asking me these three questions:
- Can I control what is happening?
- Can I change it?
- What do I achieve when I continue to think negative?
Then I try to remind myself of my self-worth or I just try to think of other things and so I can distract me from those negative thoughts. The point is that you have to acknowledge your feelings and correct your negative reaction with positive reminders of your self-worth.

6. Repeat positive affirmations about yourself: this may seem awkward at first but find some positive affirmations that help you feel better and repeat them daily. Even if you don't believe it one hundred percent at first. By repeating those affirmations, the positive thoughts will sink in and will make your brain recognize and accept them. You may not believe this, but one single phrase can change your whole day. So try to add these affirmations to your daily routine. If you don't know where to start, here are some example:
- Im worthy of love and respect
- I'm a perfectly "imperfect" goddess
- Im strong as hell!
The best way to not forget to tell you these affirmations or reminders is to make it visible. For example, write it on a piece of paper and and stick it on your mirror or use it as your phone background, so everytime you open your phone, you can see it.
7. Do things that make you feel happy: do things that make you feel good physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whatever makes you happy, if it is dancing or doing sport, find a routine and stick to it! Especially when you are alone, you should take advantage of this time and use it for pleasure.
8. Reflect on the results of practising self-love: try to reflect about the benefits that you have gained and the changes that you have made. Notice if you have more energy or if you are able to be more present with others and certain situations. And even if the changes are small, remember to be proud of yourself and to celebrate it!