All About Him

Second Call

'Do you love him?'

'Can't you talk to him?'

'Can't you forgive him?'

'Start all over again. With him.'

'You're both suffering.'

'Don't be stubborn, Krist.'

'I want you to be happy.'

Those were the things I keep on hearing ever since I decided to be my older brother's tail. His friends, classmates, our family and even strangers did not forget to advice him everyday, did not forget to tell him that he needs to talk to P'Singto.

Sometimes, even I, get annoyed. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, very much. He's been with me since the day I was born. I want him to be happy. And it's quite obvious that only with P'Sing will he be happy. But sometimes, it's too much. Even I get tired, much more him? I only get tired, but what about my brother? He will not only feel that tiredness deep in his soul but also heartache.

I've talk to him before, countless times. I've asked him what he will be doing from then on. I also asked him whether he loves P'Singto enough to give his forgiveness, enough to accept his love again. But he didn't say anything.

But I do know that he still cares for P'Singto, he's not as indifferent as they've said so, not as unaffected as he portrays. The day when P'Singto's call got connected for the first time, it was me that accepted it. Phee was not with me that time, he was outside, finally out and under the sun.

When P'Sing uttered his first word and called out his own endearment of my brother, I recorded the call by intincts. I heard his pleas and confession. I couldn't understand it at that time, why did he left my brother when he loves him this much? Why wait for the future to be together than being with him sooner? He said he was a coward, maybe, but if he was a coward, what about my brother? If my brother only answered his calls earlier, if my brother followed our advice, wouldn't everything be alright now? If not happy, at least, they won't be suffering like this.

Just because I couldn't understand, doesn't mean my brother can't. So, I put the wired phone down without hanging up and run for my brother. I thought he would be indifferent, I thought he wouldn't care but I was wrong. He ran past me as fast as lightning and unto the telephone. He very carefully picked up the phone as if it could break anytime like a fragile thing.

He listened to P'Singto's cried pleas in silence. No matter how many hours passed, he remained standing still and listening. I have already eaten, took a nap by his side and even freshen up countless times but he remained still. His eyes were red but he's not crying. He remained expressionless, not sorrowful nor smiling. Another hour and I heard him say the word rest before he hanged up.

Did he say something after? Was he happy? Or sad? Maybe sorrowful? No, he was not. He only calmly rewind the recording of the phone call. He stared at the phone for a long time without any expression. When it ended, he stared at the phone for a long time before he turned around and walk towards his room. He opened his door without a sound. I watched him stepped in. And as quietly as he opened the door, he closed it the same.

What happened after that day?

Nothing changed. I couldn't tell his friends that there's finally one call from P'Singto that got connected. Not because he told me not to, verbally. More like , I can tell from his stares. So, everything stayed the same. Just like before, everyday, his friends would visit our house and before going home, they must give their advice to P'Krist once or twice. Sometimes his friends visited by group, sometimes alone but different person everyday. I think they have a schedule for whom and when will whom visit.