Crossed Colors

Prolouge

1
(This is a fictional story, I REPEAT fictional)
As I stand you are here listening to me, my life, what I do, and how my story defines me if you must. My name is Blanca. I'm 21, yay exiting, clearly I'm bilingual, including sarcasm and spanish. I live and go to college in Austin, TX, UT specifically. I live with my best friend that I have had since 7th grade, Zelda.

I love her in a friendly way. She is all I know, the closest I have had to love. I have an apartment with her on the second story and one dog. The dog is mine and I take care of her since Zelda does not like pets. Her name is Lilo from Lilo And Stitch, and she is a black and white a shih tzu with long fur. Now Lilo I would be fine staying with her for the rest of eternity. She's chill and she's only three so were cool with each other. Zelda dislikes her, she says that she sheds to much and costs to much and this and that.

WHATEVER LOSER! Heh, sorry got carried away. Anyways I dont drink, I dont smoke, dont do drugs, never shop, now that I'm thinking about this I sound really lame. Oh well. I never had been the rebellious type to go and do whatever. I stayed in school, did my homework, love to read, didnt go party. I never did anything wrong but I always have felt wrong. As if something wasnt right. As if I wasnt meant to be here. That is where I'm at right now. I feel nothing, I cant I never have. It's like theres this force field around me not letting anything in or out...including love. I think I'm incapable to be loved by someone else than my dog. Everyone says that I look lonely, well its because they have someone that I have never found, a "neverfound."

I'm not lonely but I am alone. That's a major difference in life. In my life, why mine though, why mine out of all.

More importantly I dont think I deserve love. I always talked bad about it. Never understanding that it changes people for the better. But I have never been introduced to someone who has found love until recent years.

I found out Zelda found love three years ago. We were eighteen and she was living her best life. She always had money. Her other friends made a deal that they would put together one thousand two hundred dollars if she found her soulmate by the end of the year. And she did. Leila. That's her name, she's ok. Not to loud but she eats like a pig. When she comes over she does not play. I'm getting carried away.

I do that alot. So while Zelda found her soulmate I was at home reading Steven King. I was jealous, envious. I told her she did not deserve love. I told her that she should just live the great life she has already been given. I realized I was wrong. She deserved anything she desired for. Oh she also told me off which I deserved. I never did describe me did I

. Well I am around 4'11, sucks to be me. I have been this tall since 6th grade. Sad right. When it comes to physical features I just go by what other people describe me as since I do not see color. I have a dark tone of skin like almond mixed with olive almost. I have a long, skinny face, and I am very thin, boney. I have a thin nose and massive eyes. Like anime eyes(I'm a weeb).

My hair is thin and I believe black with some brown. I have been told I look like Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but with thinner hair and no large curves. I have average breasts(not that you needed to know) and small hips. Now time for the fun part.

My name is Blanca Maria Oralia Louisa Sanchez-Alverez. I am Hispanic and I know spanish. I am an only child so I got all the names. I'm vegan which why would people eat meat in the first place, absolutely disgusting. Virgo, virgo, virgo, I am one.

I wanted to be a veterinarian when I graduated from college but everyone thought I should be a teacher. So I study education....yay. I'm going to be a science teacher one day. So very extra ordinary.

I guess if I think about it my parents always put me down about everything. I think they're the people that make me like this, stuck up, doesn't have love, gets jealous really easy.

They were also "neverfounds," they were friends since childhood. They DID have Hope's of finding their soulmate. Sadly it didnt work out for them in the long run. Now dont get me wrong, you can still find your soulmate at an old age. But....you probably wont.

Because of all this settling their had to be a reason, right. Well it was because my mother wanted to finally see what a happy life was like. That's what she had told my now father.

She also wanted kids....yeah. She wanted so may little ones running around her house. Then she got me, and she did not want anymore. She did indeed suffer with bipolar depression in her life. She never really lashed out at my father or me. But she would sometimes at coworkers and customers. She ran a flower shop, and if everything wasnt in a certain spot.....she would go nuts. She would tell then cry and the flower shop would sometimes have to close because of this. I used to never understand it as a kid and then I found some medications as a teen.

They were on the kitchen sink just laying there, half full. My mother had explained to me that she was now on meds. I understood that she was not okay, because neither was I. I was not okay,and that's okay, in so many ways that's okay. I feel as if I have been talking about my mother to much, let's switch sides to my father.

My father and I have never had a really close bond.

He was always dealing with my mom, or at work. He never really acknowledged me as a whole. He worked hard. He said there was never enough people in this country that worked for what they have like us. It's hard for people like us, my dad would say to me. Most specifically because we are Mexican. He thinks that if you ain't motivated you ain't gonna get anywhere in life.