All The Bright Places - Asleep

In-between

Violet

May 3

I sit next to Finch's bed after calling my parents and Kate. His body is doing all these spastic movements again and he moves his head from the left to the right every once in a while.

It scares me, because I don't know if he's waking up slowly or if he's in much pain.

His hand convulsively squeezes mine and I startle because of it.

I stare at Finch's face and notice something different. Two, big, blue eyes are staring at my hand holding his.

He's waking up?

I gasp and use my other hand to press the "call" button next to Finch's bed. "He's waking up," I say in the little speaker.

I smile at Finch, but the look on his face stays the same. This is the first time I've seen these perfect blue eyes in weeks, maybe even months, but somehow it feels different. They're not filled with life; they look emptier and duller than usual.

Doctors are gathered around his bed within a few seconds. I need to step backwards until they've replaced the large tube in his mouth, by nose tubes.

They let me in the room again when they're done with him. Brown looks at me and says, "Good luck, Miss Markey." He gestures at Finch. "Let us know immediately when something happens. We'll inform mister Finch's family that he's waking up."

I nod, knowing that it's going to last a while until they're here. Which I'm glad about, because I can't be with Finch if his family is.

I walk towards Finch's bed. He's sitting up right now. His gaze follows me when I walk to the crutch next to Finch's bed.

I smile at him, but he doesn't reply. I know I shouldn't be expecting that he's awake immediately, but I just want him to be.

Brown is still in the room, so I ask, "How long should it take him to wake up fully?"

Brown hesitates. "It can take days until he wakes up fully. He'll still sleep a lot the first few days. Maybe he'll be awake for a few minutes now, but tomorrow it could already be half an hour maybe."

"Okay," I say. "If he doesn't respond, after how many days should I let you know?"

"If he's still not at all responding after two days, you should really let us know," Brown explains. "We'll run some MRI scans to see in what condition his brain is."

"Thank you," I say. Before Brown leaves, I ask, "Could I maybe call Theodore's family myself this evening? Maybe they'd like to hear it from me."

Brown nods and leaves the room.

I hold Finch's hand. I feel I'm shaking. I'm scared that his brain is damaged too much to wake up fully. I'm scared he'll stay stuck in this in-between.

I look into his eyes and whisper, "It's me, Finch." His eyes start to close again, he seems tired. "I love you."

I press a kiss onto his cheek, before he goes back to sleep again.