A Bond of more than Friends

Chapter 4: Confronting The Feelings

For the rest of that afternoon after my mom returned home I sat on the phone talking to Andy about everything that was going on.

"I'm so confused Andy I don't know what to do!"

"Liles listen, I know you miss Kathy and all but maybe ca-" I stopped Andy mid-sentance.

"THAT'S JUST IT! Kathy called this morning to tell me that she still wants to be friends but she wants me to move on from her!"

"Really? Just like that? She knows how horrible you felt telling her and...it's like roadkill. She runs you over and you are slowly pushed to the curb," Even though I didn't quite understand this statement, it somehow made sense.

"But that's not all. My new friend, Cherise is her name, when I'm around her I feel so nervous and I feel that I need to impress her all the time. And ever since I met her I never feel sad when I think about Kathy, I feel empty but never sad,"

"It sounds like love to me,"

"What? No, I am not in love with Cherise. We just met and I barely know her," Even though I denied it out loud, in my mind I kind of believed it. Had I really fallen in love with Cherise?

"Liles, sometimes we have that feeling where we get tongue tied and we start sweating oceans. That feeling, ona global scale, is mostly linked with anxeity or love. Now I would originally say anxiety, but you said it specificly happened the moment you met Cherise. So I am led to believe you are in love. Maybe moving on won't be as hard as you thought"

That night I thought long and hard about what Andy had said. Had I really fallen for Cherise? It seemed to crazy to be true. Then my self arguments started happening. 'I'm in love. No I'm not. Yes I am. No I'm not.' Then I soon relised something. These were the same feelings I had when I fallen in love with Kathy. Could it be that I had feelings for...no no no. I refuse to believe it no matter what the facts. Besides, Andy said these feelings are also linked with anxiety. When I met Kathy I hadn't just moved to a new city. I was confused very much so but I knew the only way to deal with this were to confront my feelings. But how? I can't just go up to Cherise and say 'Hey I think I may or may not be in love with you'... that's absolutly dumb. I need to asses this myself. I need to share how I feel with someone I care about alot but it can't be my brothers or my mom, that'd be just plain weird. Hmm let's see. I could talk to Andy but he already knows. Who else to I care emensly about... only one name comes to mind. Kathy. I picked up my phone and called.

"Hello?" For once I'm not happy to hear her voice.

"Kathy I need to talk to you. Do you have a while?"

"Yea sure. What's up?"

"I made a friend. Her name's Cherise. I was won-"

"Liles I told you to move on from me. Trying to make me jelous by telling me about this cute girl you have a crush on isn't gonna work. So bye!"

Just then I felt a sense of guilt. But why? No. it wasn't a sense of guilt. It was a sense of annoyance. I was annoyed with Kathy. And I could tell she was jelouse even though I wasn't trying to make her. Why Kathy? From then on I would no longer think about Kathy. I wouldn't talk to her or message her. I would just forget her. I needed to focus on my one priority. Find out what I was feeling.

But how would I go about doing that. Kathy was acting like a bitch, Andy was very persistant on trying to get me to see that love is the answer, and I can't confront Cherise about it either. Looks like this is gonna be a long ass night.