Like Father, Like Son | Phantom of the Opera

xvii. I Saw Him

 JANUARY 1916

My dearest, Gustave

Your advice to be persistent worked perfectly, though I never doubted that it would. I was finally able to speak to your father and we had such a wonderful conversation. We truly were able to connect and come to a mutual understanding of the situation we find ourselves in. I finally feel like I understand him, who he is, how he feels. It felt like I had finally found someone I can talk to about how I feel when you're not around. We were able to open up to one another and it was everything I could have asked for and more.

Even before the two of us got a chance to speak, though, when I first got to your house, I got to see your Uncle Nadir and he did not look good at all, Gustave. Even with the little bickering he and your father are so often engaged in, there is always a light in his eyes, a smile on his face. When I saw him, though, he looked absolutely exhausted and there was so much worry on his face. It was sad to see and it was clear that something was weighing on his mind, and I immediately concluded that it had to be your father, based on what you told me. The two of us got to talking, and he gave me more insight into you and your father's lives than I have ever had before. I know that you have hesitated to give me the details because it's hard to talk about and because you think I would be tempted to hunt down my uncle for all that he did to you. Though the option is rather enticing, I am just glad to finally understand your stories. Your Uncle told me about your father's history as the Phantom of the Opera, as well as the beginnings of his relationship with your mother. He told me about his time in America, his career as a businessman, everything that happened that led up to your mother's death. I'm sorry that it ever happened, but I am glad that I finally know. Though I wish I could have heard it from you, I would never want to pry. You should never be afraid to tell me anything, no matter how it may make me feel. I want to be able to support you in any way I can.

When I got a chance to speak with your father, I found him in a state that absolutely broke my heart; in tears on the floor of his study as he begged his record player to play your mother's record. It ended up just needing to be cleaned, but he looked so distraught at the prospect of it never playing again. I told him I knew your story, he said how much losing you pained him and then...Gustave, I saw him. I took off his mask and he let me move his hand and see his face. Though I was surprised when I saw him initially, after a few moments, I found that there was nothing to be afraid of. It was then that he broke down crying and I realized just how outstanding it was for him to hear that I wasn't afraid of him. I can only imagine the abuses he's faced because of it; perhaps you can tell me sometimes.

It was with him that I felt safe enough to speak about how I can be myself with you. I feel I cannot tell my parents any of that without hearing another lecture about how to be 'proper' and 'represent my family', so to be able to come clean to your father about all of that was like a massive weight being lifted off of my shoulders. It was a relief to be able to talk to him and have him tell me that all would be well, not criticize me for my comments, and that, I think, is something that made the conversation a truly special one.

Your father also gave me a couple of stories from when you were little and you best believe that I am never going to let you forget. The thought of you and your father running around in your pyjamas in the snow and you giving him a heart attack when you knocked your tooth out is too priceless to allow you to live them down. Not to mention that revisiting those memories made your father laugh, so there were victories all around.

The two of us have come to consider each other a major system of support and consistency while you're away. I'm seeing your father much more now, both to visit and to take him up on his offer to give me training in order to improve my voice. I saw one of his compositions on his piano in the study, and while he played, I sang, and he told me it could sound lovely if I was trained, and the rest is history. Hopefully, I'll be able to sing for you when you get home.

Do me a favour and tell William to write to Jane; she's worried sick about him because she hasn't heard from him at all and I can't do much to comfort her until she knows for sure. Please try and get him to send her a letter.

Write to me - and your father - as soon as you possibly can. Give him a little extra hope. We both love you very, very much.

Yours,

Lara

~

LATE JANUARY 1916

Lara,

I'm sorry I kept those details about my and Papa's lives a secret from you. It's difficult to talk about the things that happened with your uncle and my mother in America with Papa, never mind coming clean about it all to you. I always wanted to tell you, but the timing was never right for something like that. You're right, I didn't want you to go after your uncle, and I still don't, by any means. I knew you were determined to do it, which I didn't want, though the idea doesn't strike me as something that would be absolutely terrible. Still, I hate to keep secrets from you, and I'm glad that Uncle Nadir told you what happened. No secrets from now on, I promise.

I appreciate you taking the time to talk to Uncle Nadir, even if he was telling you stories. I know that he worries constantly about Papa and his well being, even if he doesn't show it all the time. He needs the support almost as much as Papa does; the two of them are like brothers, and for Uncle Nadir to have to see Papa in such a state would break his heart. I know it would. So thank you for being there for him too, my love.

I'm so glad that you managed to get through to Papa. I knew you would manage to do it. You're just the sort of strong-willed person that can get through to him. To hear that he let you take off his mask and see his face, especially if he is in the emotional state that you described him to be in is absolutely incredible. You were right to assume that kindness from someone seeing his face for the first time is not something he is used to. As for the abuses he has faced, there has been a plethora that I will not put down in writing. I will tell you some, though I don't think it is my place to tell you everything. Your kind of heart makes such an incredible impact on someone like him, who has so long been denied kindness. He appreciates it, even if he doesn't quite say it outright. He has never been adept at conveying his emotions in conversation; he usually prefers the written word. I will never be able to repay you for being there for him when I can't be, for giving him that sense of stability and consistency that a man who has seen the things that he has so desperately needs. It hurts so much to be away from you all for this long.

Please tell Jane not to worry; William is as insufferable as ever with all of his jokes, but he keeps things lighthearted. Trust me, I have been trying to get him to write a letter to her, but I think he's worried that he'll say something ridiculous. I think he must have written half a dozen drafts, insisting that it has to be perfect. I'm trying to get him to send it soon, so just tell her to wait a little bit longer.

I miss you all so much. Please continue to take care of each other until I get back, and I cannot wait to hear you sing when I get there.

All my love,

Gustave 

~~~~~

updated: 11-18-20

word count - 1511

letters part 3 :)