Things Change

Chapter 38

Luckily, for Draco, Hermione had already left, before the owl came. She didn't see the owl, she left before his breath started to become shaky, before he started to full on cry, before Draco lost it. She couldn't bare to stand there at look at him. The one who had broke her beyond repair. Their was no way she'd be able to fully give someone her heart again, not after this.

Draco would move on, or at least pretend to move on. He had to. He didn't want to love anyone, except for maybe Hermione - but that can't happen anyway. He'd have to marry some girl he doesn't really even know, and pretend to like her for the rest of his life. Just for that stupid reason. You have to keep the blood pure, Draco. That was one of the first things he had learned as a child. He didn't really know what it meant until he became older though. He just followed orders.

There were threes way upon. First, by thinking. That's the noblest. Second, by imitating others. That's the easiest. And third, by experience. This is the most bitter. And, unfortunately, that's what Draco had done. Maybe if he had a bit more courage things wouldn't have been so bad for him. If only.

Hermione's POV

It became hard not to think about Him and I kept worrying that Ginny would accidentally let it slip. But she hadn't so far. She just stared at ne with these sad eyes, and I would catch her glaring at him. Honestly, she was making things worse.

I had moved into Ginny's dorm for now, thank Merlin that there was an extra bed. If there hadn't who knows where I wouldv'e went. I might have had to go back to my common room. Which I don't think I could do. Like literally, it would slowly break me to stay there with Him. Him, that's what we referred to him as, but most of the time I didn't want to think about it.

I had done my best to push it all away, into the back of my mind. Hide my emotions, shield the pain, don't let the hurt show. And it was hard. I don't know how he had done it so easily for so long. It was killing me.

And now when I did let my emotions go, it was ten times worse. So I guess Dumbledore had been right, like always. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. Yes, that's about right. That's what it felt like right now. A week after it all collapsed.

My studies had been falling, considerably. Slughorn, McGonagall, and even the weird DADA teacher had questioned me about them, I didn't know what to say other than I would try harder.

There was nothing I could really do, it's not my fault that I had my heart broken. But I would try harder, I had to try harder. I couldn't forget about NEWT's just because of some stupid little fling, that had been the reason i came back in the first place. NEWT's.

I would forget about it, or at least try. I could busy herself with my studies and not think about it. That's what I'd do. And no one would think a thing because that's something Hermione would do.

Draco's POV

I went to find Pansy, not caring if I got caught wondering around the castle - Oh wait, we don't have a curfew. Great - Hermione was probably still in the library. She had been there all afternoon and I never heard her come back in.

I knew Pansy would be in the Slytherin common, but I took my time getting there. I checked the library, some classrooms, out by the lake, but now I actually had to go get her.

Once I was in the passage way into the actual common room, everything seemed to hit me. What if today was the day? I wasn't ready for that. Definitely not ready.

What if they somehow found about Hermione? I could never forgive myself. Pansy was fawning over this fifth year when I walked in. She was basically in his lap. I knew she just wanted what was in his pants, talk about whore.