Heart of Steel Turned Gold

Chapter 17: The Aftermath

Arthur:

I waited ever so nervously on the platform. The battle was over. All I waited for was Mer. This was her moment, not mine. She appeared from the back and walked towards the edge. No one could say anything before she slammed the button down. Everyone watched in surprised terror as the bomb detonated, another infamous mushroom cloud made its way into the air. Everyone cheered. Everyone but one. Mer stood there, frozen. Everyone faded away but I walked slowly towards her behind her. She crumpled onto the ground. I sat next to her but didn't touch her. She screamed. No, she screeched. She was in pain. She cried out and all I could do was listen.

"Shaun, God, what have I done to you?" she screamed, "I burned you" she cried into the sky.

There was nothing I could say. Nothing I could mutter to try and dull the pain of a mother, not only a mother who lost her child and husband, but witnessed it both times. Yes, she killed her own son, something no one should have the burden of doing. But she did it. I held her small frame lightly. I might be stronger and bigger than her, but she was tougher. She persevered through situations I could never go through myself.

"Arthur..." her words were quite this time, "can I be alone?"

I kissed the crown of her head gently,

"Take as long as you need".

I stood up and walked toward the Prydwen once again, hoping she'd be able to walk through the doors again.

Esmeralda:

My parents never were there for me. I wasn't good enough for them. They were convinced I couldn't raise my son, especially with a military father. I hated them. I fucking hated them and they were right. My son.

"I'm sorry Shaun" I whisper

"No, you're not" he spits back at me

"Shaun..." I plea, reaching out my hand to touch his

"You're destroying everything I've ever worked for." He pulled his hand away

"You think I wanted this?" I spit out

He looks taken aback

"You're my son. My flesh and blood. Every maternal instinct is telling me to kill myself before I harm a hair on your head but you left me no choice!" My vision is blurred, I can't see. "Please Shaun, I don't want to fight".

I can hear him breathe and wipe away the tears that run down my cheek,

"Tell me something..."

I looked up at his crystal blue eyes and slightly crooked nose.

"You have so much of your father in you."

He smiled and his eyes softened

"Really?"

I nodded. I wrapped my arms around him. My boy. He did the same. I kissed the top of his head.

"I love you Shaun."

"I love you too mother, now go, do what you must."

"I killed you" I cried into the floor, sobbing hysterically.

I have no concept of real time. I am measuring everything from the moment I murdered my son. Twenty minutes since I killed him. Thirty minutes. Forty.

"A shame, what you did".

I sit there in my guilt and horror, too ashamed to look up.

"I bet you could've saved your boy. A shame."

I heard the gun reloading, I didn't stop her.

"Don't worry darling, it'll be over soon."

What felt like a hot blade stabbed my side. I screeched like a fucking banshee. I panicked once I remembered my current state of health. I held my side hard to stop the bleeding.

"Oh and don't worry, I'll take good care of Arthur."

Wait.

No.

That was it, wasn't it?

I couldn't save Shaun, but if I could do anything, if I had the chance to not fuck up for once and do something right, it would be this baby. This baby with Arthur would be my only hope.