Tapestry of Scars

Paralyzed

Chapter 2:

Paralyzed

When Emily woke up she felt sick to her stomach. Despite it being empty it felt like it was stretching to the point that she couldn't breathe. She gagged and she automatically tried to reach up and cover her mouth, but there was something holding her arm down. She looked down and saw cloth shackles around her wrists. She was tethered to the bed. She glanced down, feeling the same constricting feeling against her ankles.

Right. The psychiatric hold.

A side effect of trying to kill oneself.

She'd been in and out of consciousness the last twelve hours. She felt like she was dying, which was ironic considering she wanted to die. She was pissed at herself for calling the crisis hotline. She didn't know that the woman who answered the phone would be a fucking Bloodhound that could track her.

If she'd just kept her damn mouth shut her nightmare would be over. But she'd gone and cried about her problems to some stranger. And of course the woman had given her hope. But where was she now?

How much of what she remembered was real? Had she hallucinated seeing her in the ambulance? In her hospital room?

She was real. She had to be real.

She'd had hallucinations before, but none as vivid and stunning as the blonde who'd been hovering over her when she woke up under that bridge. She had felt her touch. She'd had a beautiful aura, a glow like Emily had never seen before. Emily knew that she couldn't have dreamed up the depth of humanity that was radiating off of the blonde. She'd looked like heaven, and Emily knew for a fact that she sure as hell wasn't going to heaven...if there was a heaven.

Emily closed her eyes and tried to picture Alison's face. She needed something to center her, to calm her. But it didn't stop the barrage of negative thoughts loudly berating her.

You don't deserve her. You don't deserve to be happy. No one will ever love you. You're too broken.

She shoved her head back into her pillow and groaned. When she opened her eyes the room looked smaller.

Suddenly, the cuffs around her appendages felt tighter. She was trapped. She hated being trapped. She felt like the room was closing in on her, and every bad thing that had ever happened to her was flashing through her mind like some twisted demented horror movie.

"She's dead!"

"Look out!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you, you hear me?"

"Em, run! RUN!"

"I'm going to fuck you up real good the next time I see you..."

"Go! We have to go!"

She heard the yelling. She saw the destruction. She could taste her blood. There was a flash and all she felt was pain. She wanted to scream for help, but her voice hitched in her throat.

Instead of blood, she tasted vomit. She gagged again, this time feeling something hot burning her esophagus. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. She started shaking.

She heard a machine screaming, pissed off about something. She'd barely even registered its presence. She'd gotten used to hearing machines after she'd nearly died overseas. But the squawking noise drew the presence of some young bubbly little thing that came in way too chipper and way too awake.

"Is everything okay in here?" The nurse asked, walking up to the machine to check it.

She was a bouncy little girl. Probably fresh out of nursing school, so she hadn't been jaded by the medical industry yet. The poor thing still had the fresh stench of hope.