Tapestry of Scars

The Breaking Point

A/N: Do not skip this author's note: This chapter is extremely graphic. It's very triggering for multiple reasons. I'm going to remind you about what I said in the very first chapter's author's notes in which I warned everyone reading that there will be very hard-hitting things happening in this story. Please go into this chapter knowing that there are sensitive topics. I'm talking abuse, blood, and violence. I'm throwing a lot at you this chapter, so please remember to stop and breathe. And if you're not in the right mindset, please don't read it. There have been a lot of little moments hinting at Emily's past, and you're going to get hit with some painful things.

Also, please remember that the complexities of loving someone suffering from depression/suicidal thoughts/PTSD is not cut and dry. Love is often hard for people who struggle with mental health, because of how the disease makes them feel, though everyone is different. This fic delves into the real life ramifications of those complications. Love is a treatment, but it's not a cure. This story doesn't shy away from the unhealthier aspects of this relationship, but it also takes a look at love without blinders in a way that showcases that everyone deserves love, and that it is possible.

These characters have suffered major traumatic events separately. They weren't together to build any kind of relationship during their trauma. They have a connection and they have feelings, and through all of their pain they are trying to figure things out. That's not something that comes with ease, because they're both shut off to an extent. Though, as you'll see in this chapter, there are deeper aspects to it.

I know it's a long dark ride. If you're still with me, thank you for having faith in my writing. The more people who understand mental health the more we can try to destigmatize the topics around it. I never want to overstep. I think long and hard about how I want to tell stories like these. I agonize over every word. I tear apart and analyze every sentence. I cut. I rewrite. I put my heart into it. I talk to people who have gone through these things. I consider what I publish carefully.

Again, go into it with caution. I have fretted over it since I originally wrote it. I have read and re-read and picked it to pieces and I'm still concerned about the content. This is dark as it gets.

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Chapter 12:

The Breaking Point

Emily was off-balance the next few days. She was dealing with everything she had bottled up. The day her dad was murdered. The day her mother died. The day she failed to save her little sister.

Her sister. Her sweet baby sister. Ripped away from her family. She was hurt in ways that were unfathomable. A life cut entirely too short.

Her brother. The carnage she'd seen overseas. Blood. Pink mist. Brain matter. Death. The horrible noises a human body made in its final moments.

The torture she'd endured her entire life. Being held against her will, both at home and in war camps.

That man. That horrible man. The things he'd said. The things he'd done. The pieces of her he'd left on the ground.

The war she fought at home. The war she fought overseas. The war she fought inside of herself.

Even when she looked calm, she wasn't.

Alison was the only thing that kept her from putting a bullet in her brain. She cared about her more than she cared about herself. But she didn't know how to express it. She'd never let herself love anyone before. It was another reason she knew that deep down, she was irrevocably broken. She'd been broken long before she ever had a chance to know what true love felt like.