Tapestry of Scars

880 29 20
                                    

A/N: Oh, my, this crazy ride. This crazy emotional wild ride. Thank you for those who took it with me. As I've stated numerous times before, all these topics are extremely sensitive. This was a huge undertaking and it was a challenge to create the right balance of reality and sensitivity.

Writing about depression, anxiety, suicide, PTSD, and abuse toes a very fine line. These are topics that should absolutely be at the forefront of conversation, but should not be glorified for entertainment purposes. When I wrote this story I set out with the intention of creating something that would shed light on taboo subjects. I set out to show a raw journey of the struggle that many people face, but either A) Can't talk about or B) Don't have access to the proper resources to talk about.

I want to see real change in society in terms of mental health and abuse. I want to see the stigma associated with mental illness torn to pieces. I want people to see who a person is, and not an underlying disease. I also want anyone who has ever survived anything traumatic to know that there are people out there who care. Compassion and empathy are critical in implementing real change. In the words of Charlie Chaplin, "We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery."

Ironically, I know that misery is something I've brought to all of you. But I hope that the moments of happiness and joy were just as potent. Thank you all so much for taking this feels trip with me. I love you for riding with me to the end.

***

Chapter 22:

Tapestry of Scars

1 year later

The proposal didn't happen immediately. Emily was trying to put some thought into her plans. She'd never been good with big romantic gestures. She'd never been good at anything romantic. She'd never been in love before. Her idea of romance was satisfying her partners in bed...repeatedly. But after years with Alison she'd learned that loving someone and pleasing them wasn't the same thing.

She set out to show Alison how much she loved her. Unfortunately, her secretive behavior sparked some concerns in Alison. She was worried that Emily was hiding her pain again.

She watched her very carefully. She listened to everything she said, including what she told others at her speaking engagements.

One day after a talk at a high school a bunch of teenagers were coming up to the team and talking to them. Their stories had opened the door for actual dialogues. A young gay boy cried and told Charles how much it meant to him that he wasn't broken and that he wasn't alone in his feelings and how confident that it made him feel that love transcended everything.

A ninth grade girl who had struggled with an eating disorder thanked Hanna for making her feel less alone. She asked Hanna questions about how she managed her daily diet and how she kept negative thoughts about her self-image at bay.

Emily's story was a lot more daunting for the kids to swallow, yet it still inspired them to talk to her.

When the auditorium was nearly empty two girls approached Emily. One girl was tall with long dark hair. The other was a curly headed blonde who was nearly a foot shorter than her friend, but had a stance that made her appear like she was the only person in the room.

"Hey, I didn't bore you to sleep, did I?" Emily questioned.

"Not at all. It was the opposite actually," the shorter girl said. "I mean, don't get me wrong...we initially thought it was just going to be some corny afterschool special littered with tropes and inspirational sayings we've heard a million times. We weren't expecting...all that." She waved her hands in the air. "Everything you went through. It was just...mind-blowing. I've got to tell you, I barely pay attention in class, but I hung on to your every word."

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