IF WE WERE MEANT TO BE // Billie Eilish

Chapter Fourteen - Without Remembering Your Touch

"Shhh!" I hiss, sniggering. Elliott brings her hand to her mouth, muffled laughter leaving her beautiful, wide grin. I bite my lower lip, stopping me from bursting out in giggles.

I've slightly sobered up since being at the club - slightly. Walking through the hotel corridors to my room, I wrap my arm in hers to stabilise myself and rest my forehead on her shoulder, chuckling quietly.

Not noticing an abandoned shoe - which I'm pretty sure is Claudia's - I trip over it. Elliott grips tightly onto me, stopping me from falling. I stand up, a little dazed, and feel a burning sensation on my lower lip where my teeth were biting. 

"Oh my God." She snickers, cupping my jaw and brushing her thumb along my lip. I notice the blood and bring my fingers to my mouth. She takes my hand in hers and brings it down to my side. Her other hand comes up and softly strokes my cheek, her eyes wandering down to my lips. For a split second I think of Billie - her gaze would always stay stuck on my eyes when she wanted to kiss me. I always loved that intense, hungry stare.

Elliott softly presses her lips on mine, causing my cut to sting in a sort of satisfying way. I don't bring my hands up to cup her face - I barely kiss back. I can't help but think of Billie. Everything inside my tells me to grip my hands in her hair and lead her to my bedroom. I want to forget myself - forget Billie. But I can't. No one kisses like. No one touches like her. It feels wrong to be with anybody but her.

Elliott pulls away, a soft smirk pulling at the corner of her mouth. Her intentions are clear. I could so easily have this one night. 

"I should go." She whispers. "Someone's here to see you." And with that, she takes her hand from my cheek, and walks away.

I look and see Billie, standing at the end of the corridor. Her face is expressionless, but her eyes are wide and filled with shock. 

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, unsure of what I'm supposed to say.

I turn to Billie and lock eyes with her. We may be standing at the opposite sides of the corridor but her stare feels like she's slowly wrapping her hands around my throat. Unable to take it anymore, I burst through the fire exit onto an outside stairwell. I storm down the stairs, hearing her call my name out frantically.

"Francis, please just fucking stop!" She screams, catching up with me. Her voice is so loud is stops me in my tracks and causes me to freeze up. I turn around and look at her right in the eye.

"Why can we possibly have to say to each other?" I laugh in a weak, croaky voice.

"I didn't think you'd kiss her." She replies quietly.

"And I didn't think you'd fuck him!" I yell back. I take a breath and calm down. "Please, Billie. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I can't." The hurt in my voice is so clear, but I can't fight it back anymore. I feel so drained and defeated.

"Well, I do. Fuck, I need to. I'm scared. Francis, you scare the shit out me. I have no control and I can't stand the fear of losing you. I thought-"

"You thought you'd just end it before I could?" I run my hand through my hair and grip onto it, looking to the side before returning my gaze to her. "No, I don't accept that." The anger and pain starts to rise inside me. "I couldn't kiss her without the thought of your lips. I couldn't dance with Luke at the club without remembering your touch. You think you're the only one who's scared?"

"I don't know what to do, okay?" She bursts out, her voice shrill and shaky. "I don't feel like this about people. I don't do love!" 

I instantly freeze, but she keeps going, no longer in control of her words.

"I'm falling in love with you, Francis, and I'm fucking scared! You have a power over me that no one else ever has. I've always been the one who doesn't care about anything and now I feel everything. You make me feel more emotions than I've ever had and I feel out of control. You're driving me insane and I can't take it!"

She looks at me, desperate for a response, but I can't find the words. 

"Fuck fear." She whispers, before stepping towards me, pulling my head and smashing my lips against hers. Her fingers grip tightly into my hair, preventing me from being able to ever pull away. Placing my palm on her chest, I can feel her heart racing faster and faster as the kiss develops. I bring both hands to cup her burning hot cheeks. As the kiss grows more passionate, our lips melt into each other - after spending all day desperate for each other's touch, the kiss is hungrier than any before. 

Breathless, we part. But, if it wasn't for that, I can't picture the kiss ever ending. She lets out a small smile, full of surprise and happiness. 

Her phone buzzes and a text from Finneas flashes on the screen asking her where she is. 

"I'll see you on the plane." She smirks, before opening the fire exit door and entering the hotel again.

I rest my arms on the rail of the stairwell and grin - everything's gone back to being perfect. And fuck, Billie Eilish is in love with me.

"Francis." I hear a voice call behind me.

"Mike?" I reply, confused.

"We need to have a chat about what's expected of you as a professional. I wouldn't want you doing anything to threaten your position on this team."

"What do you mean?"

"You and Billie. I know. And it's unacceptable. You must end it, or I'll have no option other than to fire you."