IF WE WERE MEANT TO BE // Billie Eilish

Chapter Twenty Nine - on the side of the bathtub

"I'll drive you." Billie says as I hang up the phone.

"Is that what we are now?" I laugh, raising an eyebrow. "A couple that drives each other places?"

"Couple?" She smirks.

"Shut up." I reply playfully, pulling her face towards me for a kiss.

"One more." She whispers as we pull away. I grin and lean back in. "And one after that, and one after that, and one after that." She laughs between placing butterfly kisses on my lips.

"Ok, move your mushy ass, we gotta go." I chuckle.

"Tell anyone and you're dead." She whispers, going in for one last deep kiss.

***

We've arrived at the flat. Walking up the stairs, I take Billie's hand in mine. I want Luke to see how strongly I feel about her - I want him to realise how happy she makes me, otherwise he'll worry too much. 

Getting to the door, she tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and places a soft kiss on my neck. 

"Luke?" I call, entering the apartment. His bags are by the front door, so he must be home. 

"Francis." Billie says, grabbing my arm tightly.

(a/n: play "6.18.18" by billie, it will make this way better.)

I look at her line of eye, which leads towards the bathroom. The shower's on, but smashed glass surrounds the floor.

"Luke?" I ask, a new sense of urgency in my voice. "Luke?" I call, edging towards the bathroom. "Luke?"

Opening the door, the bathroom is covered in the remnants of various drugs. Bottles of spirits have been emptied, others have clearly been smashed against the bathroom wall. 

My eyes land on him, sat in the shower, unconscious. A bottle of vodka is in his hand, shower water falling into it and over flowing. His head is sunk, his upper body resting against the wall.

"Luke?" I say firmly, hoping to God that he replies. "Luke?" I say again, my voice breaking as my lower lip trembles. 

"I need an ambulance..." I hear Billie start on the phone. I open the shower door and squat in front of him, taking his face in my hands. His eyes flutter open.

"Billie. Billie, he's awake!" I shout. His eyes roll back. "Hey, hey. Please don't. Please don't do this to me." I start to cry. Resting my forehead on his, I begin to sob. 

Unbuttoning his shirt, I place my hand on his heart, testing for a heart beat - it's so weak. "No, no, no, no." I whisper, gradually getting louder until the repeated word is a shrill scream. Pulling away from him, I use my thumbs to pull up his eyelids - it's just white. I realise that my hand on his chest is no longer moving up and down. "Billie. Billie, he's not breathing! Billie!" My hand is uncontrollably shaking as I bring it to his mouth and nose, hoping I'll feel his breath. I don't feel anything. 

I softly inhale, my eyes stuck wide open in shock. A loud, singular sob releases from my lips. Louder cries begin to follow, the harsh, cold shower water beating down on the two of us as I stare at his lifeless body. "How could you do this? Why the fuck would you do this!" I shriek.

Billie rushes into the bathroom and wraps her arms around me. I let my back lean into her body, but I can't move my eyes from Luke. I grab her arms tightly, like a child would a teddy bear. The sobbing stops, but tears continue to stream down my face as I look at his closed eyes - all I want to seen are those beautiful green eyes; it feels like I haven't seen them in so long and the realisation falls on me that I will never see them again.

A team of paramedics burst into the apartment and try to pull me away from Luke. I start to scream, not wanting to be away from him ever again. Two men grab each of my arms and drag me into the living room as I struggle and fight against them. Billie comes to me as other people push him out the bathroom on a stretcher. 

"Billie, what's happening? What are they doing with him?" I cry. She cups my face, and pulls my line of eye away from him. "No, let me see him. I have to help him, get off me!"

"Look at me. You don't want to see him this way. Picture him as normal. Look at me, I promise it will hurt less."

Feeling defeated, I stop fighting the paramedics hold on me and fall to the floor. Billie drops to the ground and holds me. "I can't. I can't. I can't." I sob, unable to breathe from the pain. 

Soon, everyone has left as the ambulance silence fade from outside. It's just me in her arms in our flat - the smell of alcohol wafting through the air like deaths very own taunt.

We sit there for a while - I don't know how long it's been - minutes, hours - time has been lost ever since. My eyes are stuck on the bathroom through the almost closed door and fall on a piece of paper left on the side of the bathtub.

In a trance-like state, I stand up and follow it like a moth to a light. Picking it up with shaky hands, I read the letter, not realising the breath that I'm holding in. Billie stands by the door, ready to support me if I need it.

As the last few words embed into my mind, I lower the piece of paper, my eyes staying as if the sheet was still there.

"He-"

The phone starts to ring in the other room and we both immediately look up. I walk over, each step feeling heavier and harder than the last.

"Hello?"

"Is this Miss Kingston?"

"Who is this?"

"This is the Los Angeles Community Hospital regarding Lucian Moore. I have you as his emergency contact. His ambulance has just arrived at the hospital."

I squint my eyes, forcing out the words I don't ever want to have to ask. "Is he okay?"

A/N: well, this was intense. what did you think? and what do you think will happen next?

as the next chapter is 30, prepare for even more shittttt

PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT!