River | John Seed

10- The First Day Gone

JOHN

Six Months Ago...

She can't be gone. It was just yesterday her lips were touching mine, my hands tangling through her hair and feeling her body close to mine.

I just can't accept it. I can't accept the fact that she wanted to leave.

Why? Was everything a lie all along? Did she not care?

My hands grazed over the endless stacks of documents sitting on my desk. Her smile flashing before my eyes made me delirious, her sweet angelic voice echoed in the room as if she had become a ghost. Haunting me. Tormenting me.

Just twelve hours have passed since she escaped on that boat and I haven't stopped looking for her. I would not sleep or eat. The sight of food made me ill. I paused from running my hand over the stacks as her beautiful eyes appeared next.

SLAM

My breathing became ragged as the turmoil wrecked through me, consuming every fiber of my being as the tears splattered down on the papers. I supported my weight on the desk with my hands, struggling to get myself together.

'You're weak John.'

Weak. What a generous word Jacob bestowed upon me after I broke down on the wet ground from dragging myself to the shore. I was pathetic. Desperate. I had such a beautiful girl...an angel come into my life.
Every good thing was ripped away from me!

Through the blurred vision, I saw a lawsuit beneath one of my hands. The lawsuits just kept coming, but they never got the message. They didn't seem to understand that I would buy out every piece of land if it meant finding her.

With one swift motion of my hand, I sent the papers flying off the desk and I watched with a sneer as they fluttered in each direction like I had just thrown confetti. Standing over the mess, I stared down at it. The rage within me was building like a ticking time bomb. Each second. Each minute. Each hour without her was eating away at my insides. Destroying me.

Why was that? Wh.. Why was it filling me with such agony?

The door to my office had burst open, but I ignored it, remaining in a blank state—glaring at the ground as if it had committed the greatest sin. My hands clenched into tight fists. I wanted to set it all on fire and everything with it.

HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME!?

"Boss-"

"WHAT." I snapped, not turning to meet one of my associates who had entered. I could hear the rifle gripped in his grimy hands and I gritted my teeth.

"Joesph has a sermon—"

My head jerked towards him, "I believe I specifically remember," I stepped towards the man, my hands reaching out to grip his throat. "that if NONE of you have word of WHERE THE ROOKIE IS,"

I applied pressure to his neck, hearing him gurgle, his eyes watering as he couldn't breathe. It only pissed me off more.

"TO NOT. BOTHER. ME!!!"

I slammed him against the wall before throwing him out of my sight. I heard him violently coughing before scrambling out the door of my house.

Moments later, my radio goes off.

"John.."

My eyes widen at my brother's voice. I grabbed the radio from my belt and raised it to my mouth.

"What is it?"

"I understand you've been...upset since that Sinner escaped. But we have MORE important matters that need our attention. We must not dwell on only one sinner. There are plenty who still need atoning. They need to know the truth. The collapse is —"

I throw the radio across the room, smashing it into pieces.

I had to get out of here.

~*~

I snatched the car keys to my mustang off the hook and rushed out of the house. I couldn't be around this mess. I had to be alone. I. Had. To. Find. Her.
What if she was in danger with the ones she left with! Was she even still alive?

I stilled at the horrifying thought before turning the keys in the ignition.
God—please, please let her be alive!

Dust from the dirt road flew everywhere as I sped off my property. I was going back to the bunker. Back where it happened. I had to be near where she was last, to feel close again. I wiped another tear that had fallen and smacked my face hard. We didn't lose her. She's not gone forever. I'll find her.

She'll come back to me...