The spirit world is broken and in desperate need of a restoration. True heroes and ancient beasts that once walked are now a thing of the past. Between the empty spaces of forgotten treasure halls there are whispers of one who has returned. One lege...
Oh my Great Sage. Did you sleep out here all night?
What are you babbling on about? Safe? You literally camped out at the mouth of a cave. There could be wild animals living in there!
Worried? Me? Worried about you?
In your dreams. You're a paying customer. The only thing I'm worried about is getting my tip when this is all over.
Let's not waste any more time discussing your poor hotel choices.
Let's get back to the story, shall we?
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Sun Ritsu did not know what to do. He glanced back and forth between Anari, who he barely trusted, and the pig, who he trusted would definitely get them caught.
"We have to bring the pig," he told Anari.
A dangerous noise came from her throat. "That is not happening."
Ritsu protested, "But he'll squeal."
"That's right! I'll squeal!" The pig repeated from the back of the room, his voice desperate and shrill.
Anari whipped away from the door; her braids aided her stalk across the room like an ominous cape.
"I can easily rectify that situation."
Ritsu saw the whites of the pig's eyes wax in horror.
"Lawful, benign monkey, call back your arthropodal companion!"
There was the sound of a match being struck. Fiery light illuminated that corner of the room. The pig's pink snout trembled. Ritsu shut the door and tried to make it over to them in time.
With seemingly no effort, Anari hoisted the pig up by the folds of his neck and held the burning match under his chin. "Prepare to be food, pig."
"Lawful, benign – no, benevolent monkey!"
"Anari, wait!" Ritsu stumbled into the spider. The collision resulted in both the pig being burned and Ritsu's tips spilling out of his apron pocket in a torrential ker-plunking downpour all across the concrete floor. The ruckus harmonized nicely with the pig's hysterical squeals.
Anari dropped the pig, the light blew out. She braced herself for Ritsu, but they both wound up on the floor anyway, stacked like a fresh batch of moon cakes.
"Get off of me," the spider said calmly, but the fuzzy tips of her glamoured mandibles at the base of his neck suggested a strong or else. Ritsu rolled away and absently tried to gather up his loose change. One coin, having landed on its spine and traveled towards the pig, remained perfectly upright.
From beyond the door, there was a shift in conversation. The voices of the trolls paused and then took on curious and demanding cadences.
"We're dead," the pig whimpered. "Degenerate ape, you've murdered us all – Heeeeaaack!"
