Chapter 1 - Being Homosexual 101

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"Ugh..." I reached out from the warm depths of my duvet to turn my phone's alarm off, missing and pressing snooze by accident which only added to my morning stress.

'Really? Again?' Recalling the dream that had replayed for the third time now, I threw my bed covers forwards and let the morning sunlight spill onto my legs through the window to my left.

Just when I began to think for a second that his presence on this planet didn't affect my life anymore, he managed to weave his way into my unconscious thoughts. This had been a continuous cycle for the past two years now, and I still couldn't seem to find a way out of the loop.

I looked over at my phone, just as the alarm went off again and this time I really went and slapped it to make sure it would hit 'Stop' instead of 'Snooze'.

At the very least, school wasn't on anymore. Crazy that it wouldn't be on at all ever again. First week of the summer holidays, I wouldn't have to see him for... well, ever. Plenty of time to forget about boys.

'Anyway, enough spiralling. I've gotta be at Lilly's soon or she's gonna be pissed...'

I slid out of the sheets, just as the fact that both my parents were on holiday together for a week slipped back into my head. I expected to receive an incoming FaceTime call soon from them and so I made an effort to look somewhat capable of living home alone and was quickly out the door to get to Lilly's.

Arriving at her front door, I clicked the doorbell and waited as I watched for figures moving beyond the stained glass as I often did, trying to guess what was happening before entering.

The door swung open aggressively and Lilly stood there, slightly smaller than me, leaning forward as she stood.

"You won't believe what happened," she grunted, darkness in her eyes, unlike anything I'd seen within her before.

"Morning," I replied sarcastically, amused by her greeting.

"Grounded, Max! I've been grounded! I'm literally eighteen, this is bull-"

"Grounded? How the hell did you manage that?"

"It was all his fault. That stupid pig that calls himself my brother is the one responsible!" She started yelling so that he could hear her, turning to project her voice into the kitchen.

I gave her a forced smile before someone caught my attention from beyond the doorway. Behind her, emerging from the kitchen was the very boy that I had hoped not to see in the holidays. Somehow the fact that Jake was Lilly's older brother managed to escape my thoughts for the morning; probably because he was barely ever home, or maybe trying to blank him out of my mind was actually starting to work.

"Hey, Max, how's it going?" He smirked, standing behind Lilly in the doorway. It made my insides churn just how much his smile sent my heart into a frenzy.

"I'm good thanks, how's your holiday been so far?" I replied, my voice shifting into what could only be described as somewhat more masculine.

He nodded as he spoke. "Pretty decent, been stuck babysitting this one, though," his smirk lingered on as Lilly rolled her eyes.

Being at Lilly's house was always more eventful, especially on the odd occasion that Jake was actually there. I'd been friends with the family since about mid-way through my first year at high school, and it had always felt like my second home. As an only child, the exciting drama just wasn't there at home like it was at Lilly's.

"Oh, get lost. I'm literally less than a year younger than you." She shook her head and walked away from the door and into the kitchen, but not before mouthing 'Enjoy!' along with a wink at me. She'd always shipped the two of us, ever since she learned about my sexuality, and that I'd been crushing on him hard. Though it would never happen between us, for obvious reasons. I don't even think that in a scenario where he did like me back she'd actually encourage it.

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