Barista • h.s

5

NATALINA

I carefully walked down the hall to my apartment. I tried to make the least amount of noise as possible. Although it was only around 8pm, it was pitch black outside, only adding to the eeriness my building now made me feel.

I quietly pulled out my keys, unlocking my front door and moving quickly inside, locking it back behind me. I released a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I kicked my shoes off and walked over to the couch, sitting down and beginning to cry.

This was a weird thing for me. I hardly cried, as for the most part I was now a happy person. I cried enough as a teenager. I cried enough as a college student. I tried to leave the worst parts of me back in Tennessee.

But, that was exactly it. It had almost been a full year since I left, and everything was going so well. I thought the worst was over. Now, the worst is back to creep into my mind every time I'm alone.

How do I live like this? Today was so wonderful, I talked to the beautiful, curious man for hours. I seemed to learn so much about him. Now I'm alone, enveloped in the darkness of my apartment and the darkness of my past. Just as I felt I was finally finding myself, I'm lost all over again.

Almost as if on cue, there was a knock at my door. My heart rate increasing and I could feel my stomach drop.

"Nat? You home yet?" I heard that wicked voice from the other side of the door.

The tears fell rapidly and I still forced myself not to make any type of noise. I sat on my couch staring at the door for awhile, too scared to make a move. Too scared of the chance he might hear me and know I was here.

After what seemed like an hour, I dialed Will's number. To no avail, though, as he didn't pick up. I cried more. Will was the only person who knew anything about Matthew.

I sucked in a deep breath and called Harry. He won't understand, but he makes me feel comfortable. Maybe one day he'll make me comfortable enough to hear the whole story.

"Hello?" A raspy voice answered. I looked at the time on my phone, it was only 10:30.

"Did I wake you?" I whispered.

"Yeah, I must've fallen asleep. I don't even remember. What's up?"

I closed my eyes tightly as more tears fell. "Um, could you maybe pick me up? I'm sorry, I know I left like three hours ago and I totally understand if you don't want to. It's late and you're obviously tired but I can't be here right now and-"

"Nat, you're rambling again. Of course I'll pick you up. Send me your address."

"Thank you." I whispered and hung up. I quickly texted him my address, still too scared to move off my couch.

Not even 20 minutes went by before I heard another knock at my door.

"Nat, it's me!" I heard Harry's accent from the other side.

I grabbed my bag and ran towards the door, shutting and locking it in seemingly one movement. I grabbed his hand and ushered him towards the door, walking as quickly as possible to his car.

Once we were both seated, I requested he locked the car doors immediately.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

I shook my head. "I'll explain when we get to your house." I hadn't even realized I started crying again until his hand reached for my shoulder, rubbing it softly.