𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙃𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙧$

16: Confessing

Melanie Freda

6:45pm October 23rd 2019

Have you ever said shit you were so sure about at that moment then think back a few days later you ask yourself "why the fuck did I think that was a good idea"? Well I currently find myself asking myself that question. 

I don't know if I smoked weed that day but that's absolutely not want I want. There's no way I didn't have feelings for him when I went on a date and even opened up to him clearly there's a strong connection we have and that scares me.

I had spent the last 5 years of my life avoiding men and now I'm in love with one. I even trusted him so easily. Even got turned on by him with just his lips on mine. I wanted him so badly but yet there was something holding me back I couldn't grasp it but today I was going to tell Jhamal how I felt about him. It wasn't only that I didn't want to break his heart more but I could barely focus on my work with him just as my friend. I just needed to kiss him again.

I picked up my phone which was laying on my white carpet. I then saw his name in my contacts.

Me: Are you available to come over I'm bored                               6:52pm

My car had been at the auto repair shop and Deja went on a trip with Casedi and Megan said she was too pregnant to drive even though she's only 1 month in her pregnancy. So Jhamal had been picking me up and giving me a ride home from work for these past days.

Jhamal 😭: I'll be there in 15                                         6:54pm

It was amazing how this man could make me fall deeper for him just by his actions. He instantly dropped whatever he was doing just to attend to me. 

After  exactly 15 mins I heard a knock on my door and got up to open the door. Jhamal stood in front of me with a box of crispy cream doughnuts. I smiled at how thoughtful he was and how all of a sudden his cologne seemed to have an effect on me . I took the box out of his hand than gave him a hug and he kissed my cheek. I looked at him then rolled my eyes playfully. 

"What good friends can't get a kiss anymore". He asked mugging me.

"Good friends don't kiss Jhamal". I replied.

"So I can't give you a kiss anymore". He smirked as I sat on the brown couch with a grey blanket. We were at the living room next to the kitchen the one with all grey walls.

"If we were dating and a guy kissed me on the cheek would you appreciate that"? I asked him and saw his eyes light up for a second. Like he thought about us together and it felt so real but reality brought him back. I was that reality.

"No I wouldn't". He said after a second of thinking. "Not like I'd ever get the chance cause you keep playing". He then mumbled but I caught on to what he said.

I looked at him with a slight smile on my face anticipating on what I could tell him about my feelings for him.

"Why you seating over there come here". He smirked licking his lips . "Nah I'm good". I said almost squirming at the look he was giving me.

"I just wanna talk Lanie". I loved when he called me Lanie the way the name rolled of his tongue was mesmerizing to me.

I involuntary got up as if my body was no longer my own and sat on the other end of the couch but then Jhamal had grabbed my feet and instantly started massaging it randomly. The little things he does just melts my heart.

"How was work today"? He asked as he kept massaging my feet. "It was good I couldn't focus though". I said leaving out the part that I couldn't focus cause he kept invading my thoughts.

"How was your day at work"? I asked."It was ok". He said dryly. 

"I'm in love with you". I blurted out and noticed him freeze. His face was drained out of any emotion that I couldn't decipher what he seemed to be thinking. His thoughts looked jumbled up but his face showed a hint of excitement like he had been waiting for me to finally say those words.

After seconds of silence he leaned back on the closed his eyes and just smiled.

"I know". He simply said then turned to look at me. His tongue darted across his lips as he grabbed my feet and continued to massage it. 

"The day when we went to see your mother you said you trusted me and I instantly knew. I was just waiting for you to confess. It's ok though because no matter how long it would've took to admit that it would be worth wait". He revealed and I was silent. So I wasn't the only one who saw the strong connection we had? That was a relieve.

It becomes silence once again as he swaps my feet and starts massaging again. I looked up and he just made eye contact with me and licked his lips. 

"You gonna talk Lanie cause I need to know if we no longer gOoD fRiEnDs so I can kiss you".

I didn't reply I just leaned forward and attached my lips to his. And once again everything was perfect. But this time I snuck my tongue into his mouth and his tongue entangled mine. He pulled my waist towards his body and the smell of his cologne intoxicated my noise. I involuntarily let out a moan as his hand made it's way to my ass. But as soon as he did reality slapped back at me and I pulled away and hopped of him.

"I'm sorry". I said sitting down on the couch crossing my legs tightly.

"You're good don't stress". He assured me.

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