Insatiable

Chapter 16 - Twice

Glaciers, she called them. I could see it now. The cold, frozen oceans I had for eyes. They were colder now. Darker. Full instead of empty. There was someone there. Someone I recognized.

I waited for her to wake. I laid by her side and played in her hair. She needed my support and I knew that. I also knew that she would see a difference. She would be able to tell.

I watched as she stirred awake silently, blinking. She didn't speak, or groan, or stretch.

"You didn't sleep," she spoke.

"What makes you think that?"

"You never sleep when something's wrong," she replied. "I didn't die, you know. You protected me."

"It's not a matter of me protecting you. It's the fact that they had the audacity to target you. That's why I refuse to sleep."

She turned and faced me. "Is that what awakened you?"

I brought my thumb up caress her cheek. "Partially."

She brought her hand up to my own and stopped me. "I need you to fight for me. I can't... I don't..." She choked down a sob, "I don't understand myself, Alaric. I don't understand anything. I can't face anyone. I'm sorry."

I scoped her face. My baby. My girl. My sun... she's dim. I pressed my lips to her forehead.

"I promise you, I'll do everything I can to help you, Xenia."

Her body shook. I pulled her to my chest and stroked her back. I didn't expect her to want to talk about it. I knew what she was feeling. She thought she had failed, not just her kingdom and people, but herself and me. She believed that because she couldn't save her people, she didn't deserve the right to be the Goddess of Light. She's lost her purpose. She's lost her light. Her reason. She'll never be the same until she can stop blaming herself.

"I love you," I said gently, "I don't care about anything else, just know I love you. And whenever you feel yourself falling deeper into the depths of your shame and self-loathing, I want you to remember that I love you, Xenia. Not the Goddess of Light, but Xenia Oren. Never forget that."

She cried herself to sleep. My dearest girl was depressed. I could only do my best to support her, and I will. I kissed her forehead, cheeks, and lips before I left.

Though the rays of the sun sliced through the windows, it was still severely gloomy. This was the doing of the Goddess. The sun will never be warm until she has rediscovered her purpose.

I made my way to the main study and found everyone in there, including Dante, Orion, Law, Gordon, and PJ. They each tensed in my presence.

"How's our girl?" Jay asked.

I just shook my head. "It's bad, she's extremely depressed."

Kian sighed. "Yeah, I can feel it."

"How are you?" Wes asked concerned.

"Awakened," Xen answered as he studied me. "I can tell you've finally given in and accepted your true purpose, Alaric. You're even more frightening now than you were before... and I don't get afraid."

"I could sense it last night," Tristan said, "I thought it was just your rage."

"There's been a spike in your power, and a decrease in Xenia's, you'll have to be wary," Rem noted.

"I'm well aware," I said and then turned my attention to the people of Light. "It's nice to see you again, Orion, though I wish they were more pleasant conditions."

He choked back his fear and stared at me. "What are we doing here?"

"You have Xenia?" Another said.