newport

twelve

hours later, im in bed with Billie asleep in my arms. I realized just after our second kiss that I had referred to her as my girlfriend when talking to my district manager.

my fingers dance across the bare skin of her arm, and I hum softly, watching the girl sleep. she is honestly the most beautiful girl I'd ever met, and I didnt want to let her go. in the past two weeks, I'd grown to love her more than I'd loved anyone else in my life.

love.

it's a funny word.

this girl had walked into my store to buy a pack of cigarettes for her abusive boyfriend, and suddenly I love her. that makes no sense to me. i mean, love doesnt make sense in general, but this girl has made me lose my mind.

the way she kissed me - twice - made my heart flutter in my chest. I was told by my doctor that if I were to have any heart flutters, to see her immediately. this girl is gonna land me in the ICU, and I dont care.

I would go to hell for this girl. that's what makes it even worse. I would die, go to hell, and come back just to protect her.

I press my lips to her forehead as these thoughts overtook my brain. shes making me soft and I hate it.. but i love it at the same time.

my eyes close as pull her body closer to my own, wrapping my arms around her waist tightly. the sun had risen hours ago, but I didnt feel as tired as I usually did around this time. this dark haired, bright eyed girl had been the center of my attention since we'd met. i was fully ready to put my all into her - give her my entire body and soul.

I know I'm probably rushing things, but what else am I supposed to do? deny my feelings when shes wrapped in my arms like this? hell no.

I brush her hair out of her face and admire the way her eyebrows furrowed, and her nose scrunched up as she dreamed of the unknown. I wanted so badly to know where she was in her dream state. I wanted so badly to understand what was making her face contort in - what I took as - confusion.

the way her hands twisted in my tshirt and a low hum left her lips made me curious. what could she be dreaming about, making her so uncomfortable?

I brush the thought away when her legs bent at the knee, and she repositioned herself so she was lying on her back. still unconcious, her hand traveled down her body under the duvet.

oh.

that explains so much.

I bite my lip as I watch her curiously, the duvet around her hips moving up and down just slightly. a soft whine left her slightly parted lips as her head leaned back, her back arching off of the bed just barely.

fuck. i want to stop watching, but I just cant.

her body writhered under her own touch, and I watch as her hips lifted. a gasp left her lips as she froze, stirring slightly after a moment of pure silence. still facing her, i quickly close my eyes and acted as if I was asleep.

surely, if she knew that I'd been watching as she pleasured herself in my bed - while unconscious - shed be embarrassed.

i feel her get up from the bed, a loud sigh leaving her lips as she does so. she pads out of the room, and I slowly lift my head when I hear nothing.

I sit up in bed and bite my bottom lip, staring at the spot where she once lay beside me.

"i knew you weren't asleep."