INT. WAREHOUSE HALLWAY - DAY.
JAKE and TERRY stand amongst a group of SWAT OFFICERS, ready to bust through a door.
JAKE: This is going to be awesome. The IT guys tracked these dealers and their names are amazing: Slaughtergore, Murder Machine, the Eviscerator and KILLDOZER!
Jake looks to Terry, who looks back at him unimpressed.
JAKE: Come on! Killdozer!
TERRY: Is this what it's always like for Boyle?
JAKE: Yup. Oh man, When I arrest Killdozer I'm gonna say something epic, like "Criminals may do the dozing, but the police will do the awakening."
(then)
JAKE: I'm still working on it.
TERRY: You ready?
JAKE: Go team sexy geniuses!
TERRY: Terry doesn't like that name.
JAKE: Too late! Go! Go! Go!
The SWAT team KICKS in the door, followed by Terry and Jake. They all YELL for the suspects to get down.
INT. WAREHOUSE - CONT'D.
Terry and Jake run to the front of the group, weapons drawn. Jake is immediately distraught. Terry grins.
JAKE: Oh come on!
In front of them FOUR NERDY GUYS sit at a table in cheap medieval costumes. The table is littered with character sheets, dice, and small fantasy models.
TERRY: Which one of you is Killdozer?
A DUNGEON MASTER steps into view, dressed exactly like an overweight version of Legolas from Lord of the Rings.
DUNGEON MASTER: That would be me.
Jake sulks.
JAKE: Really? You kill and doze? Ugh, I thought this was gonna be epic.
TERRY: They're creating their own fantasy world of imagination. It is epic!
JAKE: Not as epic as a gang of Russians, or neo-nazis, or a group of German thieves posing as terrorists so they can rob Nakatomi plaza -
(suddenly joyful)
JAKE: I found meth!
Jake holds up the meth. Terry steps forward aggressively.
TERRY: You're all under arrest.
Jake slaps cuffs on the Dungeon Master.
JAKE: Maybe you'll doze through... I don't even need to say it. I'm just so happy!
Theme Music Plays.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Elf-dorian Justice
HumorJake, Terry and Holt go undercover at a LARP while Gina, Rosa and Amy hunt for an obscure Latvian soup-maker to help Charles. ***** An original episode of (and spec script for) th...
