Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Elf-dorian Justice

Act I

INT. BULLPEN - DAY.

AMY, ROSA, SCULLY, HITCHCOCK and GINA work at their desks. Jake walks up to Terry.

JAKE: I got Killdozer to talk. I know where they're getting the meth. But, it's at an event, so we're gonna have to go undercover.

TERRY: I love going undercover.

JAKE: At the Elf-Dor LARP!

TERRY: LARP?! Oh no, I'm out.

Rosa looks over from her desk.

ROSA: What's a LARP?

JAKE: It's Live-Action Roleplaying. It's like Dungeons and Dragons but you do it in real life, in costumes, in the woods!

ROSA: That sounds awful.

TERRY: It is awful! LARPing turns kind, gentle nerds into rude, condescending nerds. And they throw bean bags.

Jake looks over to Rosa.

JAKE: They stand in for fireballs and when you throw them you yell "fireball"! So fun!

TERRY: Isn't this more of a Boyle thing?

JAKE: Boyle's at home looking after Nikolaj, so I needs me some Terry.

TERRY: Rosa?

ROSA: I'd rather kill myself. Or you. Or both of us.

Terry looks at Amy, who's at her desk laminating something.

TERRY: What about Amy?

JAKE: Terry, she's laminating a folder right now, she's not meant for a fantasy world.

ROSA: I'm surprised she hasn't laminated her gun.

TERRY: Come on, she's a great cop.

JAKE: But she doesn't know anything about roleplaying or nerd stuff. Amy!

Amy looks up.

JAKE: What's the name of the most famous sci-fi franchise in the world?

AMY: The Star War?

TERRY: Really?

JAKE: What's the one on tv where they fly around in ships?

AMY: The Star Journey?

TERRY: She's getting worse.

JAKE: What's the name of that movie we just saw, the one where the group of hobbits travel up a mountain to drop a ring into it.

Amy wracks her brain.

AMY: The Lord of the... Planet of the Apes?

Terry jumps up from his desk.

TERRY: Come on! There aren't even monkeys in Lord of the Rings!

AMY: I may have fallen asleep.

JAKE: (aside to Rosa) She was laminating on the couch.

Holt comes out of his office.

HOLT: What's going on?

TERRY: Amy mixed up Lord of the Rings and Planet of the Apes and I was telling her that there are no monkeys in Lord of the Rings.

HOLT: There are no monkeys in Planet of the Apes. They're a different suborder of Primate.

JAKE: Wait, you saw Planet of the Apes?