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My literal first reaction was... NOOOOOOOOOO! How dare chocolate betray me like this! I thought chocolate and I had something! But it turns out chocolate didn't love me, the same way I loved it! Chocolate is now out of my life for good! I choose Johnny over Chocolate!
TV Announcer: We now return to The Bachelorette season finale! After a long season of trying to find the perfect man to spend her life with tonight fantasticfantasylass comes down to our last two finalists! Johnny Depp and Box O' Chocolates!
Johnny in confessional: Even if I don't get picked, fantasticfantasylass is a beautiful girl, funny beyond belief and smart enough to know what she wants. I trust her to make the right decision, regardless of who she chooses.
Chocolate in confessional: It should definitely be me! Y'know what they say about women and chocolate! Who cares anyway? As soon as she's on her monthly's she'll come crawling back!
TV Announcer: It's the moment of truth! The rose ceremony... Two lovers... one rose... Who will it be?
Me: Box 'O Chocolates...
Chocolates: Yes?
Me: Could you leave now so you don't cry when I give Johnny the last rose? You crying might make this happy moment a sad moment.
*Johnny accepts the rose and the camera spins around us to try and make the show seem like an unrealistic disney movie*
