The Fallen One

Chapter Six

Splashes of yellow and green cover the inside of the toilet bowl. My stomach tightens and my throat burns. I don't have the energy or the will to get up off of the floor.

My knees are bent as I sit kneeled with my head in the toilet. The overwhelming odour of vomit fills my nostrils, making me continue to gag.

I'm in a hell loop, filled with pain and torment. I did this to myself, so I have only my to blame for this misery.

"Fuck, Chris" Blake stands at the sink.

He lifts me from the floor, pulling my arm around his shoulder.

He carries me to the shower where he sits me up-right against the tiled walls. Blake pulls my vomit-covered t-shirt off me, leaving me only wearing my gym shorts.

Blake takes the showerhead off the wall and turns on the water. He holds the showerhead and begins scrubbing my hair that stinks of mushrooms and bourbon.

My hair becomes foamy with shampoo that spills down the sides of my face, down to my chest. Blake sprays me with water until he thinks I'm clean.

I sit there with my eyes closed for the remainder of the time as I don't have the energy to open them.

When the water stops running, Blake pulls me up onto my two feet and guides me to my bedroom. I fall back on to my bed and Blake lifts my legs on to the mattress.

"Hey, I know it's late" he starts as leaving my bedroom slowly, "but we need your help..." with that, Blake closes the door.

I don't bother to question who he's talking to.

Suddenly my throat closes in as my chest tightens. My bloodshot eyes shoot open in horror as I take in a shallow breath.

I place my palm against my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly. My breathing is now shallow and quick, I can't feel my legs.

Fear washes across my body.

What's happening to me? Why can't I breathe?

I look up at the ceiling, begging Gina's God for mercy.

If you're out there, please, help me.

Like I had expected, there's no response.

My hands shake as they attempt to lift my cell phone from the nightstand beside me.

throat closing chest pain heart palpitations shaking - is what I type into Google.

I scan the results quickly.

What are the main symptoms of panic attacks? (Panic Attacks) | 7 Cups
2

4 Oct 2019 · I get all shaky and can't think straight. ... heart palpitations or a racing heart, chest pain, trembling or shaking, choking .... It helps if you close your eyes and use ...

https://www.mayoclinic.org › itt-20...
H

eart palpitations - Mayo Clinic
Find possible causes of heart palpitations based on specific factors. Check one or more ... Accompanied by. Chest pain or tightness

chemocare.com › chemotherapy
M

yocarditis - Managing Side Effects - Chemocare

You may feel anxious, or "stressed out." You may feel your heart pounding in your chest or throat, which may cause pain or mild discomfort. ... Some people may have chest pain in addition to palpitations, sweating, or feelings of impending doom. This may be a sign of heart muscle damage, or a heart attack.

https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org › ...
I

s Your Chest Pain a Heart Attack or Anxiety? | Right as Rain by UW Medicine

Anxiety? Panic?

My eyes widen in disbelief.

Is that what this is?

My body is flooded with shame as I type in: stop panic attack.

11 Ways to Stop a Panic Attack

Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, CRNP on December 7, 2018 — Written by Ana Gotter

Focus on taking deep breaths in and out through your mouth, feeling the air slowly fill your chest and belly and then slowly leave them again. Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a second, and then breathe out for a count of four.

And I do.

I try breathing through my nose slowly. The breath comes out too quickly.

I shake my head.

Again.

I clench my fists and take a slow deep breath through my nose. It lasts two seconds instead of four.

I try again.

Slowly, I take a deep breath through my nose. It lasts for four seconds. I hold it for two and breathe out for four seconds.

I continue this for five minutes.

My airwaves begin to open and my chest no longer aches. My breathing is back to normal.

Sweat runs down from my forehead as I lean back into my pillow.

A panic attack?

Elise used to get those.

Burning hot tears stream down my cheeks as I throw my pillow over my face and scream at the top of my lungs.

I whip my palm rapidly against the pillow that covers my face. I scream once more then chuck the pillow across my bedroom.

I slap my forehead in frustration.

What has happened to my God damn life? When did I become this fragile person?

I inhale deeply and hold my breath for a moment as I hear my bedroom door swing open.

"Chris, I just got off the phone with uncle Wyatt...he'll be here in twenty minutes to take you home...We think it'll do you some good to stay there for a while, you know?"

I continue to sob, making Blake walk quickly to the side of my bed and throw his arm around my shoulder.

"It's going to be okay, I know it will" he assures.

"How?" I weep.

"It always gets better for us, Chris" he reminds me, "you know that"

I look up at him and see the determination in his eyes.

He honestly believes that.

I nod slowly and fall back on to my bed.

---------------------------------------

Hi all,

What Chris experienced in this chapter was alcohol and drug withdrawal as well as a panic attack.

Also, this chapter relates to chapter 27 of The Silent One where it is mentioned that Chris suffered from Panic Attacks following Elise's death — so it's safe to say that this wasn't the only one.

Please let me know your thoughts and please VOTE <3

Happy reading!!!

- Rose xx