Lost - D.G [ 1 ]

CHAPTER EIGHT: GUILT

The whole room is silent and Dick focus on playing with my hair. His arm is thrown over my shoulders after he pulled me closer to him on his sleep. My head resting on his bare chest, fingers tracing the pink scars, some of which I gave him myself.

Even if a few years ago we had yearned for this kind of intimacy –with no secrecy, no mask, just both of us and some peace- nobody was truly taking it in. My head was busy running wild over the scenario the fear toxin had created on my mind. My dad, Anika, Selina, him. The fake Selina's words burning deep on my mind. You do that well, you know? Killing the people you love. Letting down those who care about you.

She denied it though. The real Selina. The one who took me in, who cuddled me in when I woke up screaming from the nightmares, the one who fed me and the one who I loved dearly. She didn't think that, not truly. But that didn't give my mind any peace. Because what if she did regret it and didn't tell me to not hurt my feelings? What if she knew I wasn't good enough?

"Were you dreaming about the Asylum?"

"No." I lie pathetically. "Why?"

"You talked, kicked me a few times. You're tough to sleep next to, you know that?"

"Never had a complain before."

"I don't know if I should feel jealous." He makes an attempt to joke. I can hear it on his voice that he was actually trying to light the whole situation which makes me smile tightly.

"Katherine Charlotte Marsen" I say, my fingers go back to trace the lines on his body.

"What?"

"My name. Katherine Charlotte Marsen."

"It's pretty. I like Charlotte."

"Call me that and I'll cut you, Grayson." I say, mocking my head back to look at him, but all I see is an eye roll. "My mother walked out as soon as she gave birth to me, so I never knew her. My father owned a little shop down the Narrows. Some guys robbed the shop and shot my father. There was never much money there, obviously. Honestly, trying to rob at the Narrows? Amateurs, probably junkies ."

"I'm sorry."

"He'd usually come and pick me from school, but that time he didn't. I never got to say goodbye." I feel his hand drop the hair he was playing with and soon his fingers are rubbing my arm in comforting pattern. "Anyways, I went to foster care and then I ran away a couple of times until I finally moved to the streets and I met Selina. I tried to steal from her. I stole from her actually, but I'm sure she let me even if she says she didn't. Nevertheless she was impressed and she bought me lunch for a couple of weeks until she took me in."

"She taught you everything you know."

"Most of it, yes. I knew how to hide and run. Run and jump from rooftop to rooftop, that was all me. My father hated it, he said I'd fall and crack my skull open." I chuckle fondly of all my father's screams whenever he saw me jumping around and falling. "She gave me a roof, clothes, food... She liked to have me around and I liked being with her."

"You two always seemed close but you really are tight. From what I overheard of the phone call last night, I mean." He adds in explanation.

"I figured we did. But yeah, she's like my older sister, my mother even. She'd throw a fit if I called her that thought. She's all the family I have now. She gave me a goal, a couple of distractions and a challenge." I say and I feel him tense at the words. Batman issues, I think. "We used to have these petty bets and if I won she'd take me to McDonald's and I could get as much ice cream as I wanted."

"She trained you into being a criminal."

"Don't get judgy too fast, vigilantism is a crime too. And I was a petty criminal since birth; learn how to pick pockets before reading." I argue knowing it's true. "The knife you said I was too emotionally attached to? Remember that?"